I’m going to take a break from my daily thoughts and my stories about being a non-Catholic in a Catholic high school or the time I thought I was dying (but it turned out I had just eaten some beets).
No, this post contains no jokes about genitalia, passing wind in elevators, or how I cry during Extreme Home Makeover (I totally do).
One of the questions I am asked regularly is…
Do you still talk with your ex-wife?
The answer is yes.
Since I’m in a ridiculous number of support groups and therapy, I’ve had a year point five to process a lot of the anger and sadness that comes with divorce. Sure it still pops up once in awhile, and I feel like crying (sometimes I do) or screaming choice expletives at an invisible version of her (I do this too). That’s normal, from what I’m told.
At around 5pm today I got an urgent email and voicemail from my server and hosting provider, GoDaddy. Apparently they had been trying to contact me for a week. The problem is that they also call once in awhile to upsell me on an upgraded server or more bandwidth. So, whenever they call, I just let it go to voicemail and then I delete, without listening.
I’m a huge Adam Carolla fan. You should be, too.
If all you know about the Aceman is The Man Show or his short stint on Dancing With The Stars, you’re probably missing this fact…
He’s one of the funniest men on the planet.
Don’t take my word for it – check out his daily podcast, currently number one on Itunes for comedy.
A few months ago, I was getting very little traffic to my site. I almost never updated it, and had sort of stopped writing. This makes no sense as writing is one of my favorite things to do. Plus, I’m kinda funny.
So I finally decided to take this thing more seriously and write almost every day.
I wrote a few days ago about how a woman I know contacted me about a girlfriend that I ought to call. I was very flattered she thought the two of us might hit it off.
When I inquired about this woman, who, for the rest of the article I'll call Shirley Hemphill (from What's Happening!!), because I used to watch that show and was always impressed with her jokes. Plus, her hair was amazing.
A girl took me to lunch today.
Actually, I paid, but it was her idea.
In my profession, which is managing Chicago real estate agents, I am constantly recruiting.
Many firms simply do a terrible job of supporting their realtors and leasing agents, and I am always reaching out asking if they would be interested to join our firm.
When I was a newborn, I developed a double hernia at ten weeks and underwent emergency surgery.
During the delivery my mother received a botched epidural, and the doctor accidentally struck her spine. She was in a coma for four weeks.
During that time I was sent home with my father and two grandmothers. Within a few weeks they had started me on human food (bananas and such), which turned out to not be a great move. Apparently, my nervous system was not fully developed and I cried like crazy. Food shut me up.
I love/hate Twitter. What's great is that by putting out information, you can connect to anybody who has interest in your interests.
However, in my experience, this rarely ever happens.
I post to my Twitter account daily. Mostly just jokes; one-liners that I think of when going about my day. However, I get virtually no responses from my tweets. I have about 150 people that “follow me” which should indicate that every once in awhile I would engage in a real conversation. But it never happens.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
