My Server Got Hacked! (But Now It’s Un-Hacked)

Funny, he doesn't look Nigerian.

At around 5pm today I got an urgent email and voicemail from my server and hosting provider, GoDaddy.  Apparently they had been trying to contact me for a week.  The problem is that they also call once in awhile to upsell me on an upgraded server or more bandwidth.   So, whenever they call, I just let it go to voicemail and then I delete, without listening.

Well, anyway, I get an email today with a “Server Taken Offline For Abuse” subject line.  Now, I know writing about my feelings with a few dick jokes thrown in can be  tortuous for some, but it hardly constitutes “abuse.”

This meant only one thing – my site had been taken down.

As a normal, high-functioning rational person, I freaked out.  I jumped on the phone, because even a minute of me being down is a complete disaster.  What if somebody visited my site at that moment?  What if they went to click on a link and it didn’t work?  These are totally appropriate and normal thoughts.

freak out
But where will my readers go to get their snark? (the word snark needs to die by the way)

So, I have a few emotional problems.  I get it.  Then, I moved into the existential.  Would my creativity cease to exist, as it’s been flushed away by GoDaddy?  Would that mean a part of me dies?  If so, what would be left?  Or who?  Do I not exist, at least partially, on the blog as myself?

Awesome thoughts.

Anyway, I called GoDaddy and was practically out of breath.  And yes, I understand Sarah McLaughlin has all those dogs to save or whatever.  I guess that’s important, too.

The funny part is that they said there was some “phishing” activity on one of my sites.  Now, don’t worry – it totally wasn’t this site.  I have a few other business websites hosted on this server.  The phishing one, in particular, is non-functional.  In fact, I had totally forgotten it even existed.

Apparently some hacker (probably from Nigeria) loaded up one of those fake landing pages that you get if you click on the spam that says, “Citibank needs you to log into your account NOW” and it looks just like the Citibank homepage.

Funny, he doesn't look Nigerian.

I was a little flattered.  Out of all the servers in all the world, they chose ME!  Sure it was to illegally obtain usernames and passwords to financial institutions, but who am I to judge?  I once killed a guy in the desert!

Okay, I didn’t actually kill a guy in the desert.  I just wanted to sound like a big shot.

Bottom line is that this site is totally secure and I deleted the offending scripts.  You are in no danger.  Now, please send my your credit card info.

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