Submitted by Teresa
—
I didn’t know May was mental health awareness month. How ironic being that I’m having my first mental breakdown.
My daughter was dating a kid that became addicted to oxyconton. Was involved in robbries to support his habbit, was arrested and went to rehab. He’s out of jail and we know she’s still seeing him….Deep breath
I’ve got four weeks to lose ten pounds.
My father on Easter Sunday, during brunch, asked me how much I weighed. I clock in at just a hair under 6’3″. I get away with a little extra weight as it evenly proportions on my body as it gains. Well, my metabolism has finally caught up with the rest of the bozos my age. I can get fat just like you.
As some of you know I’m on the board of Band Back Together, a fantastic not-for-profit organization that showcases stories of emotional distress, physical and psychological trauma, and surviving. It also celebrates the victories we have over adversary. If you’re not a regular reader I encourage you to check it out. I’m proud to be on staff.
Now I’m just #1 on Google for “dick stories.”
My blog certainly isn’t the most hilarious on the web (well, nobody tells a story about seeing my dad’s penis like me), but it’s decently funny. Sure I use too many adverbs, but, you know what? I goddamn well like adverbs. It’s me and since I don’t know how to write with better grammatical sense, I let it slide. A big-deal professor recently told me I write well. So there, inner critic D.J.!
In this episode I interview humor columnist and author Tracy Beckerman.
To celebrate the launch of Tracy’s newest book, Lost in Suburbia, we are giving away a copy! All you have to do is enter your email below. You’ll receive a confirmation email and once you click that link you’ll automatically be entered in the contest. I will draw the winner on April 2nd.
I thought that when I took my writing vacation a ton of great ideas would hit me. My batteries would be recharged, so to speak.
Didn’t happen.
Looks like I’ll just continue to trudge along writing about my daily life. You seem to like that best anyway. The good news is that the book is essentially done. The first draft is complete and I need to figure out what Amazon needs to greenlight it. Probably some editing. I decided not to do the whole book in Comic Sans font, by the way. If you’re not familiar this is the most reviled of all the fonts. I still think it would have been funny. But, Times New Roman, you old classic bastard, won over my heart. Actually I think Word just defaults to that and I shrugged – good enough.
Since I started this blog, I’ve written over 269k words. 90% of that came last year when I didn’t miss a day of posting. I followed that through to this year and made it day 403 without a miss. And I just about collapsed creatively.
It’s time to recharge the batteries. This will give me the time needed to do some fun things like finish my best-of book, focus on the podcast (which is going strong), and learn how to throw knives at that rotating circular thing with the hot chick in a scantily clad outfit as she twirls around.
So, my writing streak may be coming to an end.
I’m getting burned out on posting every day. It’s becoming harder and harder to bring the funny and vulnerable. I really thought I could go on forever. But with a weekly podcast, a best-of book, a new book, daily job, and now dating, I’m like a fanny – wiped. I believe this is my 402nd straight day of writing.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
