Sangria and My First Mental Breakdown – BandBackTogether BlogAThon

Submitted by Teresa

I didn’t  know May was mental health awareness month. How ironic being that I’m having my first mental breakdown.

My daughter was dating a kid that became addicted to oxyconton. Was involved in robbries to support his habbit, was arrested and went to rehab. He’s out of jail and we know she’s still seeing him….Deep breath

She’s an “A” student and made the deans’s list. She’s a good kid. She’s Finishing up her freshman yr in college and I’m worried sick this kid is around.
I used to think things were tough when she didn’t sleep through the nite until she was 3 yrs old. But that was a piece of cake compared to this. In my mind everything leads back to food and drinks.

It’s a beautiful sunny May day.  The kitchen windows are open, letting in the fresh air, cooling down the house from the heat of the chicken roasting in the oven. I just finished baking an Apple Pie.  The house is clean and laundry’s half done.   I hear my next door neighbor’s kids playing outside.  The sound of Tweens bouncing on the trampoline.  Such a pretty scene; Can’t you almost picture me wearing a frilly apron.
All of this with the deafening sound of my  18 yrd daughter screaming at the top of her lungs.  “I fucking hate you”, “you’re ruining my life”, “I hope you drop dead”.  “Give me my fucking phone back, I just got a 90 on my Biology final and I’m getting an A for the semester”.
I wanted to throw up.  In a trance,  I have a flashback to when she was almost 2.  She was teething, screaming so loud at 10:30 at night that we thought the neighbors were going to think we were freaks, hurting our kids.  Screaming and crying for what seemed like purgatory.   We put her in the car seat,  got in the car and just drove until she fell asleep.  Note to new parents, if you attempt to do this; when you return home an hour later, and turn off the engine  the crying will return…purgatory.
Are there car seats for 18 yr olds?  My neighbors were clearly hearing all the screaming.  Omg they’re going to think we are freaks, hurting our kids.  If I knew where my husband put her phone I would have given in; just to shut her up.  First rule of parenting , stick to your punishment.  Unless you’re kid is screaming at the top of her lungs telling you to F off.
What do you do when this little kid that you showed how to walk, eat, shit and talk turns  into a big kid that wants to show  off
her independence by continuing to date a boy  that became addicted to oxycotton,  was arrested and went to rehab.  Wait…You’re thinking…her daughter sounds like an idiot.  But Here’s the thing, she made the dean’s list her first semester in college, has a 3.5 GPA and almost never  misses curfew.
So what do I do? how do I not loose my mind?  Can I put duct tape over her mouth,  put her in a car seat and drive around?  Uhh the neighbors will think we’re freaks hurting our kids.

I made it through today with homemade Sangria,  thanks to the 3 glassfuls.  I mixed a bottle of merlot, half a bottle of cranberry juice, cut up an orange, a few strawberries and grapes from the fridge.  All while she was screaming at the top of her lungs telling me to F  off.   Mixed it all into a pitcher….gulp gulp gulp
Tomorrow’s another story.  Note to self… go through aetna book, find therapist close by.  I’m clearly  having my first mental breakdown.

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