I miss writing.
For the past month I’ve taken time off and haven’t made the blog a priority. It’s a bummer because I miss my regular commenters. I also miss sharing my daily life. Quite frankly, outside of doing a lot of dating, not a whole lot has happened to mention. But not much happened last year and I still managed to write every day without a miss.
Now I’m just #1 on Google for “dick stories.”
My blog certainly isn’t the most hilarious on the web (well, nobody tells a story about seeing my dad’s penis like me), but it’s decently funny. Sure I use too many adverbs, but, you know what? I goddamn well like adverbs. It’s me and since I don’t know how to write with better grammatical sense, I let it slide. A big-deal professor recently told me I write well. So there, inner critic D.J.!
I got excited because my friend Karen texted me she was in the tub.
Well, yes, I guess I could have become excited because she’s not exactly unattractive. But that didn’t occur to me in the moment. I jumped up from my sofa and bolted directly into the guest bathroom. My master bath just has a boring walk in shower. It’s kind of fancy, but I needed to soak with a friend.
I thought that when I took my writing vacation a ton of great ideas would hit me. My batteries would be recharged, so to speak.
Didn’t happen.
Looks like I’ll just continue to trudge along writing about my daily life. You seem to like that best anyway. The good news is that the book is essentially done. The first draft is complete and I need to figure out what Amazon needs to greenlight it. Probably some editing. I decided not to do the whole book in Comic Sans font, by the way. If you’re not familiar this is the most reviled of all the fonts. I still think it would have been funny. But, Times New Roman, you old classic bastard, won over my heart. Actually I think Word just defaults to that and I shrugged – good enough.
My furnace went kaput last Friday.
It turns out you’re supposed to clean the filters every few months or so. You’d think this would have dawned on me after eight years of owning a place. But I’m kind of a moron when it comes to that stuff. I’m good at sitting down on the ground, pulling up a laptop and writing. I don’t do much cleaning except to say that I try to reduce clutter. That is my version of cleaning – putting things away. As the dust piles, it piles on empty tables. I’m proud of this. It’s a sad badge of honor.
So, my writing streak may be coming to an end.
I’m getting burned out on posting every day. It’s becoming harder and harder to bring the funny and vulnerable. I really thought I could go on forever. But with a weekly podcast, a best-of book, a new book, daily job, and now dating, I’m like a fanny – wiped. I believe this is my 402nd straight day of writing.
About once a week I hit writer’s block. It’s then I rely upon your genius to firestart my creativity. Here’s the Facebook suggestions.
There’s simply nothing cuter. Well, unless the cat confuses the drawer with her litter box as my socks could tell you. Since the infusion of nightly gel Prozac into my cat’s ears she hasn’t peed outside the box in over two months. But if I leave that sock drawer open I’m risking Pandora’s Box. Oh, so once my cat peed on some papers I had on my counter top. Well, they were really important papers and I had to bring them to work the next day. Even now they sit on my desk still stained yellow. And yes, they stink. I’m not kidding.
Last night I participated in a webinar where I taught somewhere between one hundred and two hundred people about my creative process for posting every day.
It’s funny because a few years back I wasn’t even writing at all. I don’t consider myself a “good” writer. I’m skilled at coming up with daily ideas. The webinar was exactly this topic – how to come up with blog posts in daily life. I prepared quite a bit and over 215 people signed up for the event. I couldn’t believe more than ten would. I’m not that popular, for chrissakes.
Tomorrow night at 6pm CST I’ll be hosting a webinar for the Ultimate Blog Challenge, the catalyst that got me to start writing every day.
Since I’m preparing all night tonight, I’m going to end this post in a few. If interested click on the link below to get more information.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
