Last night I participated in a webinar where I taught somewhere between one hundred and two hundred people about my creative process for posting every day.
It’s funny because a few years back I wasn’t even writing at all. I don’t consider myself a “good” writer. I’m skilled at coming up with daily ideas. The webinar was exactly this topic – how to come up with blog posts in daily life. I prepared quite a bit and over 215 people signed up for the event. I couldn’t believe more than ten would. I’m not that popular, for chrissakes.
It’s wasn’t all about me – the Ultimate Blog Challenge sent a massive email blast out to their group.
I’ll have the recorded version of the webinar up shortly if you’re so inclined. We went over ninety minutes.
But none of this is really what I wanted to talk about today.
After the presentation I did an interview with the great Noa Gavin. I adore her and she’s one of the truly funniest women online. That podcast will be up in a few weeks.
So, after being “on” for over two hours it was time to crash. I was exhausted and needed some downtime. And then a huge wave of loneliness and sadness started just crushing me. I just wanted to be around someone romantically. Someone to hold and also to be held myself. I normally am not slammed with feelings like this.
It reminded me of what it feels like after playing a gig. I get to the show early to load in my guitar and amp. They I sit around the bar drinking Sprite until it’s time for our show. We play hard for forty five minutes and then it’s over. People come over to say, “Great job!” but then I’m alone again. I pack up my amp and guitar and head home at 1am.
As I’m traveling home I’m overcome with sadness.
When this hit last night I realized that this is just what happens to me after I perform. I’m not sure why. I guess it’s because you’re on a massive high of expounding energy and feeding of the crowd, whether it’s a webinar or a music performance. It’s probably a biological thing to balance out the high with an equal low. It’s just weird because it feels so real that it’s painful.
I had to call up a friend just to talk, I was so lonely. I think it’s this “I need to be taken care of” since I just, in a way, took care of so many people by teaching. I’m in no way complaining, but I now know that the sadness will come after a performance. Hence, I need to make arrangements.
So, I might be calling on you! Get excited to be my crying blanket. Because my life is soooooooooooooooooo hard. You’re with me, right?