I Wear the Same Shirt on Every First Date

shirt I wear on dates
Yes, I know - time to take it to the dry cleaner. It's earned it.

I miss writing.

For the past month I’ve taken time off and haven’t made the blog a priority. It’s a bummer because I miss my regular commenters. I also miss sharing my daily life. Quite frankly, outside of doing a lot of dating, not a whole lot has happened to mention. But not much happened last year and I still managed to write every day without a miss.

I’ve been putting a lot of energy into the podcast and new videocast and people seem to dig it. But this blog is my true passion. With that being said…

Let’s talk about wearing the same shirts on dates with different people.

I have determined that a uniform is necessary for the well-being of my dating.

If you’re going on a few dates a week then, I’ve learned, you have to always wear the same shirt the first time. Because you’re going to forget what you wore with who. Now, I’m not out galavanting with every young lovely I come across. But even with just a couple of dates now and then, you aren’t going to remember that you put on that silver dickie with Barbara last Tuesday.

Now, what if you wore the same outfit by accident to the same date twice in a row? Who cares, right? Not me – I don’t give a shit. But women do. I know this because I’ve asked a bunch of them. I’m not exactly sure what the big deal is, but they notice. I can’t tell you what any person I’ve taken out has worn. I hardly notice. I wish I did as my mom’s business  is high-end women’s fashion clothing, and you think I’d be more tuned in, but I’m just not. This is embarrassing and try not to judge, but I can’t tell you anyone in my life’s eye color. I know I’m sort of blue. Couldn’t tell you my family, friends, or any girlfriend’s peepers.

On the positive side, I also don’t notice if you gain weight. I once had a girlfriend who put on like fifteen pounds for some reason. I think she was stressed about work or something. It never even occurred to me to pay attention to her expanding waistline. She was still as beautiful to me as ever.

The downside is that I don’t notice when you lose weight either.

So, I need to work on being more present for external factors like dress and appearance. I am very aware for internal stuff that you’re experiencing. Thanks to a shitload of therapy I’ve learned how to develop intimacy through paying attention to your feelings and junk. I’m present for you, baby! Now, let me turn on the Playstation and zone out while you do something that women do when their husbands are playing video games.

If you’re going to date me you’re going to have to love my purple striped shirt. Don’t worry, it looks nice. Yes, it’s been in front of other women who I was trying to impress. Yes I once spilled Ethiopian chicken all down the front. And yes, once it even came off in a heavy makeout session with a lawyer. And no, I didn’t see her “briefs.” Sorry, worst joke EVER.

Now I need to come up with universal second date shirt. Maybe the brown one.

shirt I wear on dates
Yes, I know – time to take it to the dry cleaner. It’s earned it.