Everyone Poops (Their Pants At Age 26)

Yep.

I’m 33 years old, and I have never had a mosquito bite.   I know that may sound hard to believe, but it’s true.   Or, maybe if I’ve had a mosquito bite in my life, I’ve not known about it.   I’ve never seen one on my body, nor have I ever   regularly scratched at something on my skin.   I also don’t use moisturizer.   Not sure if that’s related. READ MORE

Alligators Are Not Suitable Babysitters (I'm Pretty Sure)

But the references checked out...

I had a dream a few nights ago where I was in charge of looking after a baby’s well-being. I don’t have any children currently, and have only physically held a baby a few times in my life. They’re nice and all, but, you know. They smell and stuff. Anyway, in this dream somebody gave me a baby to look after.   So, then I was tasked with finding a sitter, so my wife and I could enjoy an evening out. READ MORE

Alligators Are Not Suitable Babysitters (I’m Pretty Sure)

But the references checked out...

I had a dream a few nights ago where I was in charge of looking after a baby’s well-being. I don’t have any children currently, and have only physically held a baby a few times in my life. They’re nice and all, but, you know. They smell and stuff. Anyway, in this dream somebody gave me a baby to look after.   So, then I was tasked with finding a sitter, so my wife and I could enjoy an evening out. READ MORE

How I Avoided Asking ANYONE To Be In My Wedding

During the planning stages for the wedding, like many grooms, I had a secondary role. I wasn't terribly concerned about the photographer, the florist, the centerpieces on each table, or which crazy relatives weren't going to get invited.

Thoughts From Paris is Live! (but not alive, like stuff that has carbon)

I am very excited to start this site, as it allows me a medium for all my stories and thoughts.   I plan on publishing several times a week.   The posts will be automatically posted to Twitter, Facebook, and RSS.   If you’d like to get instantly notified, simply click on the bottom-right corner of the screen for the social media device of your choosing. READ MORE