I saw the greatest bumper sticker of all time when I was 18.
Driving to my busboy job in the summer of 1994 I had a Beatles album on full blast. I had recently discovered the genius of the Beatles and (like most people with music sensibility) determined them to be the BEST BAND IN HISTORY. I still feel that way. When I pulled up to a red light behind a pick-up truck, I saw IT. Then I never saw IT again. Until this morning.
In this episode I relay the story of a year-long relationship with a reader. One of my most read stories of all time.
To check out the podcast
In this episode I interview humor columnist and author Tracy Beckerman.
To celebrate the launch of Tracy’s newest book, Lost in Suburbia, we are giving away a copy! All you have to do is enter your email below. You’ll receive a confirmation email and once you click that link you’ll automatically be entered in the contest. I will draw the winner on April 2nd.
I got excited because my friend Karen texted me she was in the tub.
Well, yes, I guess I could have become excited because she’s not exactly unattractive. But that didn’t occur to me in the moment. I jumped up from my sofa and bolted directly into the guest bathroom. My master bath just has a boring walk in shower. It’s kind of fancy, but I needed to soak with a friend.
I thought that when I took my writing vacation a ton of great ideas would hit me. My batteries would be recharged, so to speak.
Didn’t happen.
Looks like I’ll just continue to trudge along writing about my daily life. You seem to like that best anyway. The good news is that the book is essentially done. The first draft is complete and I need to figure out what Amazon needs to greenlight it. Probably some editing. I decided not to do the whole book in Comic Sans font, by the way. If you’re not familiar this is the most reviled of all the fonts. I still think it would have been funny. But, Times New Roman, you old classic bastard, won over my heart. Actually I think Word just defaults to that and I shrugged – good enough.
Let’s face it, chicken shawarma is one of the best things on the planet. Also, pretzel bread. Both chicken shawarma and pretzel bread taste like digestible heaven and yet…
You have to really hunt to find either.
There are a billion crappy Mexican restaurants, a McDonald’s down the street, and 37 Subways within city proper. Yet, to find a shop that will make you a deli sandwich with pretzel bread is impossible. Here’s how difficult it is to get pretzel bread. Even Auntie Anne’s doesn’t sell them and they’re the only pretzel game in down.
My girlfriend Jessica drove all the way from Atlanta to Chicago yesterday. She brought her cat and dog, who also is a chihuahua. Just in case you’re new to the site, I also have a chihuahua.
If you don’t know the story of how I met Jessica through this site, you can read that story here.
…is something I would never say, write, or even think! Cursed is the man who utters such a phrase! Run out of town on a rail he should be!
Okay, obviously I was kidding – I’m sure you were ready to punch me through your computer screen right into my sack.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
