These are posts that will go in the blog, under the slider
The first official ThoughtsFromParis contest is over!
A winner has been selected for the E-Cigarette kit courtesy of the fine people at Vapor4Life.
If you’re new to the site the contest rules stated to recount a time getting busted. The winner would receive a vapor cigarette kit which allows them to light up in their bedroom without having to towel the door to keep the heavy stank of cigarettes from drifting into the kitchen where mom is making casserole.
I didn’t think I would have to write tonight as an interview I did with a UK radio station was broadcast live. I assumed it would go up on YouTube immediately after because I’m that important.
Well, just a few minutes back realized I missed not only the broadcast but that it wouldn’t magically go on Youtube seconds later. I need to write. So here I am. With nothing.
Back in April the woman that cuts my hair dropped the hammer.
She suggested we start to leave my hair a little longer on top. I was really excited for this news because I was gearing up for a funky new summer ‘do. Turns out it was because my hair is thinning. Now, since that post went live she has gone to great lengths (get it?!) to tell me I’m exaggerating and that I’m not losing my hair. It’s just not as thick and luxurious as it was three years back. But if it’s not as thick that means there are few strands. Ergo, I’m losing hair.
Sometimes there isn’t anything that happened in the day to write about.
Because this happens roughly one night out of seven I try to have an idea banked for when I get stuck. Well, I’m stuck tonight, so here’s the one I had saved. It came to be just before Thanksgiving.
Let’s talk sadness.
I know – I talk about sadness a LOT. It’s enough already. As such I’m not going to lament my currenttale of woe, although I will say that it may have involved running out of peach Fresca at my parent’s house yesterday which is total bullshit. I’m kidding. My problems are much worse than that. Like Africa bad.
Okay, it’s that time again where I give back. No, I’m not donating blood or ladling out soup at the shelter. You can go do that, though. Someone has to. Have fun. It’s time for my monthly day of free advertising for your crappy well-written blog! Here are the rules, mofos:
I realized about three years ago when I started therapy that I’m actually a dark person.
I remember being drawn to comedy at a young age – sneaking downstairs to watch HBO comedy specials laughing hysterically at well-crafted jokes by Buddy Hackett and Rodney Dangerfield. Bill Cosby’s Himself remains one of my absolute favorite sets. These were heroes of mine.
I was called a narcissist a few days ago by a reader.
I recently crossed over the five thousand mark in comments on they blog. I would say 99% are positive/funny responses to posts I’ve written. Once in awhile I invoke someone’s ire.
This particular reader yelled at me in a private email writing that I am a crazed narcissist and with all the hurt I cause my girlfriend I need to remember that I’m the lucky one to have her in my life. One of my comedy heroes, Marc Maron, has a response to a women whenever one starts passing judgement from the audience and interrupting his set. He’s a fantastic comic and talks openly about all his challenges. I try to do the same thing here. Anyway, his response is to look at the woman with compassion and then say, “I’m really sorry for what he did to you.” It’s one of the greatest power-move dismissals ever.
Let me introduce you to the other D.J. Paris.
He’s a gay Asian from New York.
I know this because back in 1998 when I stumbled across his website, this is what appeared as his tagline. I was simply looking to see if there was, in fact, a djparis.com. Turns out there absolutely was and is.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
