Back in April the woman that cuts my hair dropped the hammer.
She suggested we start to leave my hair a little longer on top. I was really excited for this news because I was gearing up for a funky new summer ‘do. Turns out it was because my hair is thinning. Now, since that post went live she has gone to great lengths (get it?!) to tell me I’m exaggerating and that I’m not losing my hair. It’s just not as thick and luxurious as it was three years back. But if it’s not as thick that means there are few strands. Ergo, I’m losing hair.
Now, I’m not going to argue with Ashley. She’s a beauty queen. I let hot chicks say whatever they want. Plus, I’m no hair doctor. I don’t know how it works. Maybe the follicles are getting narrower or some shit.
Either way I didn’t really pay attention until this weekend. I was heading out and needed to fix the hair. I threw a dab of this molding creme and started moving the hair this way and that for ten seconds.
Then I saw it.
The light from above my childhood bathroom vanity shone down onto my hair. However, it went past the hair and touched skull. Yes, light touched skull.
To say that I needed smelling salts to revive me would be an exaggeration. I didn’t even faint. I did, however, brace myself against the counter and lean into the mirror for a closer look.
Okay, so it turned out not to be a bald spot. The hair just was set in a weird direction thanks to the gel. But, my hair always turns in funky directions. I could have been in a boy band with this hair. I wouldn’t have been one of the guys who sings well or dances. I would have been the introspective, brooding one staring off into the ether while the other four did their choreographed megaworm box-step. The new-cool-for-school boy band guy.
I’ve been looking at my hair for a long time. This is first where I had ever seen a decent chunk of my melon. I knew it was time to take action.
My father has been using Rogaine for ten years. He stopped recently because it doesn’t actually work for him anymore. I did a little research online to make sure minoxidil does not cause Smelly Dick Syndrome (SDS), and I then I got online to place an order. My dad went upstairs and hooked me up with a three month supply from his private stash.
So now I take this eye dropper (eh… hair dropper) thing and drip hair growth goodness on my skull twice a day. It is funny to watch and I’m not happy about it, but it’s time to face facts. Balder and fatter. It’s happening. My back hair, though – no problem keeping that growing.
One fun thing you can do with back and shoulder hair. Shave it all and wait seven days. Then rub your hands over it for the spiny prickles. Now, run around the apartment yelling, “I’m a porcupine! I’m a porcupine!”
So, I’ll be Rogaine’ing it until the day I day, I guess. I think you have to keep going or it all falls out like a month later. I’ve taken the plunge. Will I film myself putting the solution onto my head so you can see it stream down the side of my face and then upload it here on the blog? You know I will.
KateHall says:
Omg, that is the funniest picture EVER!!! You definitely are not holding back on disclosure. I’ve thought about using those whitening strips on my teeth and blogging about that. It’s on my to do list.
MicheleLeAnn says:
I think fat bald men are sexy. The fatter and balder, the better. But hey, what do I know?
JanineHuldie1 says:
This was great Paris and will tell you this at 35 years old, I have a ton of hair, but now I have to dye it every four weeks to keep up with the gray. So I can relate on getting older and hair issues. Loved the pic of you though putting it on. Seriously, you always leave me wanting more 🙂 🙂
Blaschko McKenzieBunch says:
Try Nioxin Shampoo. And you are correct about Rogaine (or any hair thickning products) the moment you stop using them you will see alot of “shedding”. So stick with it.
bluenotebacker says:
If you didn’t look so damn excited about it I’d think that pic was Photoshopped, but I can tell you’re really into this whole Rogaine thing, so yeah, good job!
OldDogNewTits says:
Good for you for being honest. Everybody ages and with that comes grey, hair loss, fat, wrinkles and a whole mess of other delightful signs of dilapidation. I for one plan to fight it tooth and nail (assuming I still have teeth) for the rest of my days.
Here’s hoping you get good results. 🙂
OhBoy_Mom says:
Love your openness about this topic that so many men try to hide…And as someone mentioned below, Nioxin is supposed to help and apparently Aveda just came out with a line of shampoos too. Like Janine, I have lots of hair (right now), but I’ve been gray since the age of 20 and now color it every single month — such maintenance, but worth it in my opinion!
Julie DeNeen says:
So vain Paris…you are so vain!! LOL
Barbergirl28 says:
Is the Rogaine working… as a professional I have to say… the hair just repositions…. on your back… hence why it is less on the head. Just kidding. Hope that stuff doesn’t burn the hair off! 😉
The Hipster Owl's Bookshelf says:
Yes, it is QUITE possible that you are indeed the only person to have ever done taken a bathroom shot fully clothed. What is the world coming to??Btw, your hair looks fine in the shot. Maybe you’re just over worrying. 😉
Your post reminded me of an I Love Lucy show where Ricky swears he’s going bald, so Lucy tries all sorts of ridiculous hair treatments to make him hate it, and thus hopefully forget her paranoia. Unfortunately, it doesn’t quite work as Lucy hoped. lol
Have a great day! :))
The Hipster Owl's Bookshelf says:
“…to have ever DONE taken…”
Did I seriously just type that ??!! -_- Oh God…
KateBeatty says:
My husband uses Rogaine and it has not diminished his sexiness. I will admit though that I do get on him when I can tell he’s been slacking in the application department and that’s probably not so great for the old self esteem.
Mommy, for real. says:
Smelly Dick Syndrome…
I totally get it (the hair thing, not the dick thing) I am extremely vain about my hair. Do what you gotta do..
Andrea says:
Best wishes Paris, looks like you still got a good head of hair there. I’ve always heard that balding patterns tend to be inherited from the mom’s side? Who knows. My husband ended up shaving his head in early thirties. Goes through a damn crazy amount of razors. Women thin too, creative with parts.