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Guess Who Took A Bath?

D.J. did!

D.J.’s dog did!

I have previously spoke of my love for baths.  Actually I hadn’t taken one in a month until tonight.  I realized my dog had not been cleaned in over three months.  Now, before you get grossed out, please realize that my dog spends a total of 10 minutes a day outside.  She’s 7lbs and I have to carry her when there’s ice, snow, or rain, because she won’t go near it.  Chihuahuas are notorious for hating water.  Makes sense, as they are most likely originated as a desert dog from central Mexico. READ MORE

Girlfriends and Wives, Pay Attention!

Okay, I guess Target is okay - I still don't really get it, though.

My girlfriend Jessica flew up from Atlanta this past weekend.  She was here  two weeks ago, and I was excited that she was back so soon.

Now, many women are fun to be around.  Others are cool.  Some can make you laugh.  I’ve dated many that were smarter than me, which I  found satisfying. READ MORE

Do This Now!

When you built the racecar bed for that one wheelchair kid, my tear ducts actually exploded.

I’m going to take a break from my daily thoughts and my stories about being a non-Catholic in a Catholic high school or the time I thought I was dying (but it turned out I had just eaten some beets).

No, this post contains no jokes about genitalia, passing wind in elevators, or how I cry during Extreme Home Makeover (I totally do). READ MORE

Day 63 Without a Miss!

Everybody who grew up with Steak 'N Shake knows it sucks. Everyone who didn't thinks it's awesome.

I just realized I have now made it over two months of daily posts without a miss.  I should probably try getting to gym every day for 63 days, but you wouldn’t appreciate reading posts about how many reps I did to blast my glutes. (It was four by the way.) READ MORE

What Freaks You Out? (I’m In The Middle Of Cooking A Curry Chicken Dinner So This Will Be Brief)

This one doesn't bother me, strangely

In the past few months, I’ve talked about sensory  processing  disorder (SPD), how I can’t stand to touch cotton balls, and that I want to buy a 20lb blanket to soothe me.

I was talking with my girlfriend Jessica, and I mentioned that rubbing two Kleenexes together totally freaks me out.  As I was saying this over the phone, she shivered out loud and said she could feel pain in the nerves of her teeth thinking about this.  I thought it was just me. READ MORE

I Purposely Forget To Flush My Toilets – A Confession

For maintaining balance AND working out your triceps.
raised toilet seat with handles
For maintaining balance AND working out my triceps.

The first thing I do when I know someone is coming over to my place is  check the bathrooms.   For unflushed pee.

I’ve written earlier about how I talk to my friends on my phone whilst using the W.C.   Out of respect I don’t flush during a call.   I’m not an animal, for God’s sake.   When one of my buddies is crying because of Grandma’s gout, that is not the time for a double flusher.   But often the call goes longer than my dirty business, so I end up leaving the bathroom and walking into the bedroom to stare at myself in the full length mirror.  And then I forget to go back after the call and destroy the nonsense. READ MORE

I’m About To Do Something Gross

I hope he didn't lose his license.

Yesterday I posted about how get extreme pleasure from those heavy dental aprons they put on you during x-rays.  I looked into buying one last night, but the really good ones are a few hundred dollars.

Did I really want to blow a few hundred bucks on a lead apron?  Seems like an expensive experiment.  I mean, I only have had that thing on me for three minutes at a time.  Maybe at minute four it starts to feel constricting and scary.  Who knows? READ MORE