I actually found myself today saying to a friend, “Did you know that Fran Drescher and Larry the Cable Guy both follow me on Twitter?”
Then, “Well, Fran Drescher is probably just a thing where she follows a lot of random people, but Larry the Cable guy only follows like 1k! Isn’t that funny?”
Translation : Please think I’m cool because a couple of celebrities follow me – even if it a fluke, aren’t I so much cooler because of it? I need you to recognize how awesome I am that they obviously think I’m so incredible funny.
I caught myself halfway through this insanity and said, “I’m actually bragging about this. I am looking for your approval.”
Which is a strange thing to say to a friend.
I have had this “please think I’m cool!” thing as long as I can remember. It stems from having low self-esteem, of course. I’m so much better now and rarely try to brag about accomplishments to get attention.
Now that I think about it, some might say that this blog is a constant bid for approval and attention. The people can take a long walk off a short pier!
Goddamn if that isn’t an amazing phrase not used since the 1960s. Let’s all make a concerted effort to bring it back. Also, “golly.” Let’s work hard on “golly.”
I rarely ask you directly for stuff, but if you can find an instance of bragging about something to get attention, I would love to read it. And then I will judge you as being more pathetic than I. (that’s how I self-validate)
Oh, another way I’ve been bragging recently is about this project I’ve been working on set to go live in a day or two. I can’t wait to tell my friends all about it – and it’s really not a huge deal. I just want them to think I’m up to something awesome.
Now, there is nothing wrong with bragging. We all need validation from others. It’s healthy. Don’t listen to the new-age bozos who tell you otherwise. Think of someone you know that doesn’t need anyone’s approval – that person is no fun to be around and probably has a personality disorder.
It’s okay to be needy. Just own your neediness. I need you to think I’m cool. There. I said it.
Oh, and I need you to stick around. If you leave then I’ll have to find other people to tell me I”m cool. And that’s a lot of work. You don’t want me to have to do more work, right?
Golly!
photo credit: aye_shamus via photo pin cc