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What I Need From YOU (It’s Not Dirty)

I actually found myself today saying to a friend, “Did you know that Fran Drescher and Larry the Cable Guy both follow me on Twitter?”

Then, “Well, Fran Drescher is probably just a thing where she follows a lot of random people, but Larry the Cable guy only follows like 1k!  Isn’t that funny?”

Translation : Please think I’m cool because a couple of celebrities follow me – even if it a fluke, aren’t I so much cooler because of it?  I need you to recognize how awesome I am that they obviously think I’m so incredible funny.

I caught myself halfway through this insanity and said, “I’m actually bragging about this.  I am looking for your approval.”

Which is a strange thing to say to a friend.

I have had this “please think I’m cool!” thing as long as I can remember.  It stems from having low self-esteem, of course.  I’m so much better now and rarely try to brag about accomplishments to get attention.

Now that I think about it, some might say that this blog is a constant bid for approval and attention.  The people can take a long walk off a short pier!

Goddamn if that isn’t an amazing phrase not used since the 1960s.  Let’s all make a concerted effort to bring it back.  Also, “golly.”  Let’s work hard on “golly.”

I rarely ask you directly for stuff, but if you can find an instance of bragging about something to get attention, I would love to read it.  And then I will judge you as being more pathetic than I.  (that’s how I self-validate)

Oh, another way I’ve been bragging recently is about this project I’ve been working on set to go live in a day or two.  I can’t wait to tell my friends all about it – and it’s really not a huge deal.  I just want them to think I’m up to something awesome.

Now, there is nothing wrong with bragging.  We all need validation from others.  It’s healthy.  Don’t listen to the new-age bozos who tell you otherwise.  Think of someone you know that doesn’t need anyone’s approval – that person is no fun to be around and probably has a personality disorder.

It’s okay to be needy.  Just own your neediness.  I need you to think I’m cool.  There.  I said it.

Oh, and I need you to stick around.  If you leave then I’ll have to find other people to tell me I”m cool.  And that’s a lot of work.  You don’t want me to have to do more work, right?

Golly!

This guy also wants you to think he's cool. And he totally succeeds!

photo credit: aye_shamus via photo pin cc

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