Tag: party

I Wrote What You Told Me (Again)

Once in awhile I have nothing to write about. So I ask you what to do. You tell me. I do.

With the exception of the years I was married I never had a date on New Years. I had a few long distance relationships, but we were never together on New Years. So every year is about the same. If I was at a bar I turned in a circle to find somebody to kiss. It never led to anything more. One year my wife and I had a party at our condo and I watched a guest telling a story and eating the peel and eat shrimp (I have this amazing recipe) without taking the shell off first. I kept wanting to raise my hand and interrupt him with a, “Holy Christ, man! What kind of insanity is this?” but I couldn’t because he hadn’t arrived at the story’s punchline. That was probably the wildest thing I ever witnessed on NYE. READ MORE

I’m Going To Be Making It Easier For You To Comment (and why I’m sad about this)

Start thinking of stuff to say and crap.

Okay – you’ve been yelling about this for over a year, and I’m finally listening.

I’ve been watching my comment counts go down over the past few months. This is odd because my pageviews are staying the same (and actually increasing every month). I had to conclude recently that my posts have been sucking nards. This is possible. I’m coming off nearly one full year of posting, and I felt some crappy posts have gone live in the past two months. Not a lot, but a few. READ MORE

The Practical Joke That Never Was

You can't tell, but everything is red and awesome.

Tonight the men’s group I’m in had a holiday party at a local pizzeria called Marie’s.

Famous Chicago pizza place that is two-thirds liquor store and one-third restaurant. It’s been around since 1940 and looks like it was last updated in 1971. The decor is ruby red and all-longue. They decided to go balls-in for the holiday decorations and the results were impressive. I love this place. READ MORE

The Legend of Toby Wong (a cactus)

Toby Wong II

This may be one of the sillier posts of the year.

When I was twenty three I took a big beer truck all over the country that opened up into a dance club. Without going into too many details, it was a fun gig and we partied seven days a week across most of the  continental  U.S. Living out of hotels getting blasted every day was definitely a surreal experience. By the end of two years I had no understanding of accountability or normalcy. I never knew anyone for more than a week. The only relationship I had was with a woman named Mia and it was for a five days in Buffalo. READ MORE

I Plan My High School Reunions Because Nobody Wanted to Make Out With Me in High School

Maybe the finest example of this cinematic archetype - Can't Buy Me Love. He went from geek status to sheik status to no status. Plus, he shit on Kenneth Wurman's house. That was not cool.

I would rate my high school experience overall a 6.5.

My friends were a solid 9. No complaints there. Here’s how you know they performed well – they’re still largely my best friends today. Enough said.

Schoolwork was a 6. I should have done better grade-wise. To be fair I do have a moderate case of ADD. and it was undiscovered while in high school. That aside, I could have edged up the GPA a bit. But, fuck it. I got into the school I wanted by November of senior year and I had lots of cheap whiskey to drink. I was in the honors classes, but definitely one of the dumber kids. So, not a lot to bitch about there, either. READ MORE

Want a 2012 ThoughtsFromParis Holiday Card?

These children need to be taken into protective custody, stat. STAT!

It’s that time of the year – the holidays.

The end of the year where you get excited about spending time with family. Then, through old conditioning and  dysfunction your self-esteem becomes neutralized. Finally, you can’t wait to get the hell out of there. Mom can still make you crazy, and, let’s face it, you’re not exactly running around helping your folks clean up. They want you gone, too. READ MORE

Winner For “Getting Busted” Contest!

I learned it by watching you! Hey, speaking of, can we move on to benzos? Let's ratchet this party up, father!

The first official ThoughtsFromParis contest is over!

A winner has been selected for the E-Cigarette kit courtesy of the fine people at Vapor4Life.

If you’re new to the site the contest rules stated to recount a time getting busted. The winner would receive a vapor cigarette kit which allows them to light up in their bedroom without having to towel the door to keep the heavy stank of cigarettes from drifting into the kitchen where mom is making casserole. READ MORE

I Nearly Did The Wrong Thing With a Vacuum

How long will this sit here unopened? The over/under is nine days.

Sometimes there isn’t anything that happened in the day to write about.

Because this happens roughly one night out of seven I try to have an idea banked for when I get stuck. Well, I’m stuck tonight, so here’s the one I had saved. It came to be just before Thanksgiving. READ MORE

My Little Pig

The pig is eating Lil' Miss Meepers! (not really)

I had nothing to do tonight so I went to to a dog costume Halloween party.

My boss often suggests that I attend networking events. The problem is that I’m busy most nights and, oh yeah, I don’t like networking events. Well, that’s not entirely true. Put me at a blogger convention and I’ll run around talking to everyone. If there was a Fresca roundtable group I’d run a smear campaign against my opponent to win the treasurer position. READ MORE