I Joined a Board Today and Didn’t Over-Commit Myself

"Yay, look at me! I just cleaned up a village!" What a showoff!

I joined a board today for a non-for-profit website that deals with helping people with emotional and mental issues. I had been looking to get involved and flattered that they thought it would be a great fit.

Now, as I read that back I just realized it might come across as me trying to brag about doing something philanthropic. Nah. I’m one of the least philanthropic people you’ll meet. I’m self-motivated and rarely do much to assist others. In short – I’m a typical American. READ MORE

One Month To Go – Don’t Screw It Up!

Maybe I'll devote December's posts to all the cool stuff that goes on in Thailand. Sure, this baby was eaten, but was eaten in a damned awesome way.

Back in January I promised to write every day that month. Then I just kept going.

Now, I’m in the home stretch with one month to go. I’ve gone without a miss and I’m proud of the work that’s been published. I would have never thought that I would have something to say every day of the year but I guess I did. Not every post was a winner – there’s a probably a dozen or two that I’d like removed. The bad hair days of writing, if you will. READ MORE

Last Night I Woke Up With This Joke

Remember when having that hair strand thing was considered cool? I could never pull it off. Good thing, in retrospect.

Since my biology is very dear to my readers I feel it important for you to know that at least once during the night I’m awakened by nature’s call.

Thankfully I sleep mere feet from my bathroom and I simply roll out of bed, take a few steps, and complete the task at hand. I can do it while still dreaming. READ MORE

Winner For “Getting Busted” Contest!

I learned it by watching you! Hey, speaking of, can we move on to benzos? Let's ratchet this party up, father!

The first official ThoughtsFromParis contest is over!

A winner has been selected for the E-Cigarette kit courtesy of the fine people at Vapor4Life.

If you’re new to the site the contest rules stated to recount a time getting busted. The winner would receive a vapor cigarette kit which allows them to light up in their bedroom without having to towel the door to keep the heavy stank of cigarettes from drifting into the kitchen where mom is making casserole. READ MORE

So Now I Use Rogaine

Yes, I finally took a photo of myself in the mirror using my phone. I must be the only person ever to do this clothed.

Back in April the woman that cuts my hair dropped the hammer.

She suggested we start to leave my hair a little longer on top. I was really excited for this news because I was gearing up for a funky new summer ‘do. Turns out it was because my hair is thinning. Now, since that post went live she has gone to great lengths (get it?!) to tell me I’m exaggerating and that I’m not losing my hair. It’s just not as thick and luxurious as it was three years back. But if it’s not as thick that means there are few strands. Ergo, I’m losing hair. READ MORE

The Time This Girl That I Had a Crush On In High School Came Up To Me Totally Naked and Hugged Me

stip club girls
I take it all back. I could definitely engage in this fantasy.

I’ve never been a strip club guy.

The idea of paying a woman a considerable amount of money to pretend that she likes me seems so artificial that I can’t bring myself to engage with the fantasy.

Also, I sort of believe that if I’m really wanting to find a girl to sleep with, that I can probably go out and, if I tried, make that happen.   It’s just not that hard – there are a ton of lonely people out there.   And since I never had a one-night stand that felt good in the morning, I don’t really do that anymore. READ MORE

Two Stories About My Dad's Dick – Part II

About five years ago when I was dating my future wife, I mentioned to her that I was a little embarrassed because I had a bit of shoulder and back hair.   As a blonde person this isn’t the biggest deal in the world because the hair shows up lighter, but it still bothered me. READ MORE

Two Stories About My Dad's Dick – Part II

About five years ago when I was dating my future wife, I mentioned to her that I was a little embarrassed because I had a bit of shoulder and back hair.   As a blonde person this isn't the biggest deal in the world because the hair shows up lighter, but it still bothered me. READ MORE

The Big Racist Glass Head

I have this friend, Arnie Becker.

Okay, truth be told I don’t really have a friend named Arnie Becker, but for this story I feel I should change the names, as to not embarrass the real people involved.   But, if you really want to know who I’m talking about, just ask me.   I have a feeling I’ll tell you. READ MORE