I’m Going Off Caffeine After Abusing the Sh*t Out of it

Well, at least I was never this guy

I’m going off caffeine.

For most of my life I wouldn’t let caffeine into my system. I decided at eighteen that it was a terrible chemical to introduce to one’s system and never let it pass my lips. In that same year I became an evangelist against milk and swore off the white. I had read a book which said both were evil and would be the downfall of health. You have to remember that this was before the internet and anything I read in a book was gospel. I fell for pretty much every new-age fad including chakra healing, food combining, subliminal positive messages, and neuro-linguistic programming. I studied hypnosis and moved my furniture around so my bed was in alignment with the earth’s polarity. I bought a juicer and had nothing but freshly squeezed orange juice for breakfast. Today we call that an unbalanced breakfast (and probably the onset of a candida fungus). Back then it was the healthiest thing you could do. READ MORE

I’ve Never Written a Song – A Confession

"Like a woman on her cycle, D.J. got mad flow"

I’ve been playing guitar for over twenty-five years and have never written a complete song.

Not for lack of trying. I bet I’ve put more than a thousand hours into jamming with myself with the sole intention of writing an actual piece of music with a beginning, middle, and end. It just hasn’t happened. I come up with plenty of riffs, choruses, bridges and outtros – I have dozens (if not hundreds) of these clips recorded and saved onto my computer. You could probably cobble many of them together to compose a decent tune. I just can’t seem to do it myself. READ MORE

I’m Pretty Sure This is Sacrilegious

At the bottom it says, "You can run, but you can't hide"

I was on a date this Saturday and we visited a craft fair.

Now, normally I can only be found at fairs that start with the word Renaissance and spell fair with an “e” . Before you judge, I’d like to reiterate that I do NOT, under any circumstance, dress up as a knight or knave . Even though that would be awesome, I simply don’t have the courage. It’s a whole other level of commitment I can’t seem to summon. READ MORE

ThoughtsFromParis Android App is Now Live!

ThoughtsFromParis App

I was going to wait until both versions went live, but screw it.

I’m very proud to announce that the official ThoughtsFromParis app is now available for free in Google Play. You can download it here!  If you’re an iPhone or iPad user, it will be live by next Tuesday in the Apple App Store. For now, though, Android users can start right away. READ MORE

It Sucks To Be a Blogger While Dating

Not the picture I use in my online dating profile.

I’m about ready to go on a first date.

Drinks at a bar in downtown Chicago. This is a woman I’ve talked with once over the phone. We met on an online dating website. I have absolutely no idea how it’s going to pan out. She may be the woman of my dreams – or a dud. Or I may be a dud in her mind while I fall madly in love. READ MORE

Why I Don’t Respond to Your Twitter Replies – A Confession

Well... ten people liked it.

This may cost me some followers.

There are a lot of posts out there with these types of titles. Usually lists of stupid things people do on Twitter which cause the author to roll their eyeballs and not respond. You’ve seen these kind of posts before. There’s talk of Twitter etiquette and being courteous and not doing anything troll-like because we all know that blog authors are really important entities and are not to be fucked with. READ MORE

oSex With Karen and D.J. – Episode 4

The fourth episode of oSex with Karen and D.J. is live! oSex is a videocast where we Karen and I answer your relationship and sex questions. The “O” stands for “opposite”! Get it? There’s two of us, right? And one of us is a lady? (it’s not me) READ MORE