thoughts

My Car Exploded! (Not Exactly)

Why would this person take a photo of this? Seems odd.

Earlier I went to the grocery.  (see, I’m just like you!)

On the way there, I heard a large “pop.”  And this came from inside the car.  This was not the first time in recent months that I’ve had a problem with my car.

My mom very graciously passed down her automobile last fall.  It’s from 1999.  And one of those cars that has a lot of gadgets and accessories.  I was thrilled to get a free car – who wouldn’t be?  But also a little embarrassed to have to explain that my mommy gave it to me.  Oh well – got over that one. READ MORE

Vlog – From The Tub

This video was entirely shot, edited, produced and uploaded from the tub.  I know.  It’s cool.

The double chin shown in the video is a special effect I used.  Naturally.

It’s 11:47pm

It was just like this, except the monkey didn't have a gun.

In my ongoing efforts to produce a post every single day, this one is down to the wire.

I only have a few minutes, so here goes:

Last night I dreamt that my sister and my friend’s sister had little girls in  kindergarten.  I went to pick them up from school on a bicycle (not sure how that was going to work), and when I arrived, I saw all the other mothers waiting outside for their kids to appear.  Among the mothers was one monkey with a little 1920s hat and a purse.  She was standing silent with all the human moms, and then when all the kids starting pouring out of the school, a little chimp-baby came out with the other kids. READ MORE

I Communicate With My Ex-Wife Through Jokes

This isn't actually Shitty Kitty, but all one-eyed cats look the same.

One of the questions I am asked regularly is…

Do you still talk with your ex-wife?

The answer is yes.

Since I’m in a ridiculous number of support groups and therapy, I’ve had a year point five to process a lot of the anger and sadness that comes with divorce.   Sure it still pops up once in awhile, and I feel like crying (sometimes I do) or screaming choice expletives at an invisible version of her (I do this too).   That’s normal, from what I’m told. READ MORE

My Server Got Hacked! (But Now It’s Un-Hacked)

Funny, he doesn't look Nigerian.

At around 5pm today I got an urgent email and voicemail from my server and hosting provider, GoDaddy.  Apparently they had been trying to contact me for a week.  The problem is that they also call once in awhile to upsell me on an upgraded server or more bandwidth.   So, whenever they call, I just let it go to voicemail and then I delete, without listening. READ MORE

Sensory Processing Disorder (Or… How I Learned Why I’m A Total Spaz)

The blue ribbon used to be for gout victims, but, screw 'em.

So, my girlfriend started doing research on Adult ADD, which I have.   I take a bunch of medicine for it and all, but I also tend to freak out very easily about non-important stuff which doesn’t seem to be related to the condition.

Some of it is psychological, I’m sure.   That’s why I have a competent therapist, and spend time each week on the couch.   But there’s other things that seem to just be how I’m hard-wired. READ MORE

Coming Home – Vlog

Do you enjoy coming home?  I guess that depends if your parents suck or not.  Here’s my take.

The Best Joke I Wrote Last Night In A Dream

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man dreaming
Actually, this dude looks like he's doing... Yuck.

A few times a week I find myself coming up with a joke during a dream.   And that joke, I’m absolutely convinced, is the greatest joke of all time.  Every time.

I vow upon awaking that I will write this gem down and create that day’s blog post around it.   I get excited and actually think that this will be funniest post I’ve ever written. READ MORE

31 Posts in 31 Days

No joke required here.

I’m just like George Thorogood.

Well, I’m white.  He’s white.  We both play guitar.  We’re both in bands.  We both have giant skulls.

And we both love a challenge.

In 1981 George did probably the coolest thing a rock star could – he booked and performed fifty shows in fifty states in fifty days. READ MORE