These are posts that will go in the blog, under the slider
A funny thing happened to me today in therapy.
I arrived at the office prepared to talk (read: complain) about what’s going on in my life. I do this every Tuesday at 10:15am. I started in about something, probably how I’m too amazing even for myself, and how hard it is to just be me. You know, my problems.
The fantastic and funny AimingLow published one of my stories that I rewrote and polished.
A few weeks back I showed photos of my shameful feet. My toes, specifically. Actually one toe.
The big monster spear toe. The second one from the inside.
If you didn’t read that post – click here and prepare to get fouled out.
While Jessica The Reader (aka Jessica) was in town this weekend, she forced me to get a pedicure.
Well… sort of.
One of my first readers, Karen, became very special to me when I started writing regularly. The reason?
She made me feel like I was doing something good for our county.
Karen is in the Air Guard and over in Afghanistan doing the things that troops do during a war. She works on planes and wrenches most of the day. I was sort of disappointed that she didn’t control predator drones dropping bombs on people she disliked, but whatever.
This counts, people.
I just finished a seven person dinner party. I cooked a 15 lb turkey. No gravy – gravy is for pussies who don’t know how to cook a turkey.
Okay, going to bed. Exhausted.
Most amazing post ever, D.J.!
This weekend Jessica aka Jessica The Reader is coming for a visit.
If you’re new to the site, you may want to read the back story of how we met.
I’d like to mention a golden move she made in preparation of this trip.
Hey, since I haven’t yet met all your friends, let’s throw a dinner party at your place!
TheNumbers, our band, is performing live tomorrow night here in Chicago. Just in case you happen to be local, we’re playing at Silvie’s in Lakeview and go on at 10:30pm.
For the rest of you who don’t give a shit, please keep reading.
In the past two days I got a few emails that made me laugh. The first was from a reader in Scotland. She told me she likes me because my “humour” is different from the Scots, and essentially way better.
But what about all the amazing Scottish comedians we worship? You know, um… well… hmm. Isn’t Craig Ferguson from Scotland? He’s sort of funny.
Here’s my thought…
How can I clean my place just enough not to let anyone know just how disgusting I live?
I’m a master at cutting corners when it comes to sanitation. Nobody knows better how to kick things under beds, toss shit into closets and you pray are not opened, and use what magicians call misdirection. A good example of misdirection is shining up the granite counter tops or waxing the hardwood, all while where the baseboards are caked in cat hair and dead skin cells.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
