A few months ago, to eat better and save a few dollars, I decided to bring my own lunch every day to work. I’ve been working professionally since I was twenty-one, and why I have failed to do this up until now, I have no idea.
It’s something small that I do for myself every morning. Actually I do three things that are healthy.
- Play with my cat using DaBird, the greatest cat toy ever made.
- Eat a thing of yogurt and drink some POM juice.
- Make my lunch for the day.
I still need to add-in “make the bed.” That would be great. But also it would take another two minutes away from my awesome morning nightmares, and who wants to give that up?
I’ve learned that for me, it’s the small ways I take care of myself that yield the best results. For example, it’s not that I ran the extra mile on the treadmill that I couldn’t do the week prior, but that I got myself to gym when I really didn’t want to.
My life’s challenges revolve almost exclusively for me being unkind to myself. When I was younger I didn’t like myself because I wasn’t getting all As. Nor did I think I was in any way handsome. Or that if I tried harder, I’d be better at sports. In short, I learned how to be cruel in my assessments of myself.
So far, shaming myself to do better has rarely yielded me positive results. I grew up thinking if I just pushed a little harder I would achieve all that I believed I was capable of. I never learned that it might be okay to be where I currently am at this moment.
I was afraid that if I gave up the shame that my motivation to improve and achieve would go away. I’m still afraid of that. But that is probably untrue. What seems to work is to do little things that are good for me, and that are esteemable acts. Like bringing the lunch to work. I feel good about myself which then leads me to other behaviors where I feel good.
By the way, I pack a few turkey sandwiches in plastic Tupperware things and put that in a cooler bag like below. Then I carry it on the subway, dangling from my hand like a purse. I never see anyone else doing this. It’s not cool.
