This Post Isn’t Funny – Sorry, Yo

lunch cooler

A few months ago, to eat better and save a few dollars, I decided to bring my own lunch every day to work.  I’ve been working professionally since I was twenty-one, and why I have failed to do this up until now, I have no idea.

It’s something small that I do for myself every morning.  Actually I do three things that are healthy.

I still need to add-in “make the bed.”  That would be great.  But also it would take another two minutes away from my awesome morning nightmares, and who wants to give that up?

I’ve learned that for me, it’s the small ways I take care of myself that yield the best results.  For example, it’s not that I ran the extra mile on the treadmill that I couldn’t do the week prior, but that I got myself to gym when I really didn’t want to.

My life’s challenges revolve almost exclusively for me being unkind to myself.  When I was younger I didn’t like myself because I wasn’t getting all As.  Nor did I think I was in any way handsome.  Or that if I tried harder, I’d be better at sports.  In short, I learned how to be cruel in my  assessments  of myself.

So far, shaming myself to do better has rarely yielded me positive results.  I grew up thinking if I just pushed a little harder I would achieve all that I believed I was capable of.  I never learned that it might be okay to be where I currently am at this moment.

I was afraid that if I gave up the shame that my motivation to improve and achieve would go away.  I’m still afraid of that.  But that is probably untrue.  What seems to work is to do little things that are good for me, and that are esteemable acts.  Like bringing the lunch to work.  I feel good about myself which then leads me to other behaviors where I feel good.

By the way, I pack a few turkey sandwiches in plastic  Tupperware  things and put that in a cooler bag like below.  Then I carry it on the subway, dangling from my hand like a purse.  I never see anyone else doing this.  It’s not cool.

lunch cooler
The adult version of the lunchbox.

29 thoughts on “This Post Isn’t Funny – Sorry, Yo”

  1. Angelica Dawson says:

    You should go find an old lunchbox at a vintage place (or, you know, the Salvation Army) and use it. Be cool without y’know actually being cool. I recommend the Smurfs or Strawberry Shortcake. No, wait, those would be cool for me. I don’t know, GI Joe or something. That awful impossible to destroy plastic with the flip buckles… yeah. Now I’m craving.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Angelica Dawson  See, as I’m not a hipster douche, I can’t do this.  🙂

  2. ppalamountain says:

    @LorcaDamon @tfpHumorBlog Nice post–but what is DaBird? Got a cat that wants to know. Link wouldn’t come up. PP

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      @ppalamountain @LorcaDamon Thanks for the heads-up. I fixed the link.

  3. Katjaneway says:

     @ppalamountain  I’m going to intrude here and give you a link  http://jacksongalaxy.com/cat-daddy%E2%80%99s-picks/ 🙂 I have one that similar. Works like a charm

  4. Katjaneway says:

    I’ve always made my lunch every morning, and I still can’t get myself to the gym lol I’ve worked in places where it was too inconvenient to drive to a place to eat in under 30 minutes. Kind of like how it was a waste to buy lunch at my school. It took you 20 of ur 30 minutes just standing in line. Now I work at a hospital… which is great except their food sucks. lol Besides, I’d rather spend my time reading than waiting in a line!

  5. CrazyTragicAlmostMagic says:

    They’ve *finally* started making cool lunchbags for women. They look like cute patterend purses. But for men? You guys are kind of screwed. Plus, mine won’t fit in a little bag. I bring lunch, 2 snacks (am and pm) and usually 2 bottles of water for the day. I need that uncool cooler!

  6. Gwennie says:

    Let me know how many times you got to hear, “Hey dude, nice murse!” this week. You better have replied, “Thanks, it’s European.” (Please tell me you watch Seinfeld…)

      1. Gwennie says:

         @delfinparis  JORTS ROCK!!!!!!!!  (did that make me sound too 80’s?!?)

  7. TammyL says:

    I’m all about baby steps. It’s so much easier to mirror back to ourselves the criticisms we are surrounded by. Good for you for noticing what you are doing and doing nice things for yourself – showing up at the gym, packing your lunch.  
     
    I second Angelica’s idea of a vintage lunchbox!

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @TammyL  I’m trying to become my best friend.  Despite how lame that sounds.

  8. JustinBog says:

    That self saboteur rises up for a sneak attack and ~blammo~ a hit from your cool lunch carrier. It’s easy to keep doubting ourselves at different times during the day, but what is hard, and what you are doing, is facing each doubt with humor intact. Love that.  

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @JustinBog  Thanks!  I try to be honest about  embarrassing  stuff.  This one wasn’t a big deal.  If I had a mole on my dick and did a post about that, that would be difficult.

      1. JustinBog says:

         @delfinparis  I guess that also would depend on how long you allowed the mole to stay there for art’s sake 😉 Oh, I thought you meant the furry little blind kind of mole, my bad.

  9. mollyCLE says:

    Ha! I thought I was the only one obsessed with Da Bird! My cat carries it in his mouth from room to room. If I hide it, because quite frankly he’s annoying with it sometimes, he loses his mind. Ah cats…

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @mollyCLE  DaBird is the best!  Greatest toy of all time.

  10. Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom says:

    I like how you refer to containers as “things”.  A “thing” of yogurt.  I do that all the time.  
    For me though, it’s because I have too many brain cells missing and I can’t remember what the “thing” is actually called.  The picture looks like an excellent lunch – a six pack?  Washes down turkey sandwiches real nice…

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom  I put two turkey sandwiches in there each day.  I’m boring.

  11. itshopeyo says:

    yo

  12. PHphph says:

    It’s less funny when every night I come to see an update, and it’s not there. For real. Commit to be funny. Commit to be political. Committing be controversial. Just effing commit, Sally.

    Or don’t. I still like you. But would like you more if you focused. On anything.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @PHphph  Hi, I’d like to understand this request a little better.  I’m committed to improving and I value your readership.  I do post every day (haven’t missed once in 2012) and I just want to figure out what you would like so I can consider it.  Thanks.

  13. Andi Roo says:

    Must check out DaBird. My cat is more awesome than yours for the fact that she has thumbs. Unless your “sweet as boysenberry” kitty has these extra appendages, I’m sorry to inform you that your feline is merely mediocre. That happens.  
     
    PS. You’re funny even when you aren’t being funny. It’s a talent for which you should congratulate yourself. Some of us aren’t even funny when we’re trying so hard that all our balloons pop.  
     
    PPS. Glad you’re treating yourself better — interesting when a dude admits to low self-esteem, & the cure for it being kindness to oneself. I appreciate your honesty on this topic. You aren’t a pussy in any way whatsoever. Not that anyone thought you were a pussy, I’m sure. But just, you know, if they DID think that, now we all know for sure that you AREN’T. Okay. Goodbye now then.
     
    Andi-Roo /// @theworld4realz
    http://www.theworld4realz.com/
    theworldforrealz@gmail.com
     

  14. RivkaJ74 says:

    It’s incredibly easy to relate on the subject of us individually being our own worst critic! I used to continually end my day reviewing it in my mind in short film clips of things i did or said that day! Typically ended my review with 2 thumbs down on performance and content. 🙂 Thanks for the added bonus of a tip on cat toys, my little Spanky and Darla will appreciate it!

    1. D.J. Paris says:

       @RivkaJ74  Is it okay that I give your comment “two thumbs down”?  🙂

  15. D.J. Paris says:

    Must check out DaBird. My cat is more awesome than yours for the fact that she has thumbs. Unless your “sweet as boysenberry” kitty has these extra appendages, I’m sorry to inform you that your feline is merely mediocre. That happens.  
     
    PS. You’re funny even when you aren’t being funny. It’s a talent for which you should congratulate yourself. Some of us aren’t even funny when we’re trying so hard that all our balloons pop.  
     
    PPS. Glad you’re treating yourself better — interesting when a dude admits to low self-esteem, & the cure for it being kindness to oneself. I appreciate your honesty on this topic. You aren’t a pussy in any way whatsoever. Not that anyone thought you were a pussy, I’m sure. But just, you know, if they DID think that, now we all know for sure that you AREN’T. Okay. Goodbye now then.
     
    Andi-Roo /// @theworld4realz
    http://www.theworld4realz.com/
    theworldforrealz@gmail.com
     

  16. AlwaysARedhead says:

    It is apparently a good thing if you don’t make the bed, airs everything out. So I wouldn’t stress over it.

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