I’ve Used Women As My To-Do List – A Confession

notepad and fountain pen
This is the secret to organization. Having cool stuff.

One of the most difficult transitions I’ve made since the divorce is the realization that I had been using my wife as a notepad for the past five years.

When I hit junior high, I knew I had a to-do list problem. I simply didn’t keep one. That’s the age where I needed to start writing things down and planning appropriately. As a verified ADDer my memory sucks. I don’t mean in the same way everyone thinks their memory sucks. I’ve had a least a dozen people tell me my memory is the worst they’ve experienced. I wish I could over-exaggerate this fact, but it would not be easy.

In addition to being a spaz that’s constantly not present mentally I’m also a creative-type. This means I’m pretty good at sitting down and thinking stuff up. As the scales are tipped heavily in that favor my abilities to reason, rationality, and use logic are somewhat deficient. I have talked about believing that pasta came from the sea until I was a junior in high school.

Note – If you search for “doesn’t pasta come from the sea” you’ll see that my genius comes up number one in Google.

In college I really tried to plan. I was heavily into self-improvement and studying accelerated learning techniques. I became a speed reader and had a high comprehension at about 1300 words per minute. I learned tricks of master memorizers and could photocopy documents in my head for later retrieval. While all of this is very cool I still had a terrible time putting into action such tasks like doing my laundry in advance of being out of underwear.

Well, I’m thirty-six and I still don’t keep a regular to-do list.

My desire to stay organized is unmatched by common man. I have purchased books, planners, seminars and software to keep me organized. It’s just something that doesn’t come naturally.

When I met my wife she was a fantastic planner and logician. Usually people with medical degrees have to be. There’s such a large amount of studying involved that you become good at planning, remembering, and executing. She didn’t have much creativity, but I had plenty for the both of us. Not only did she remember (she kept lists) what she was to do each day, she had a knack for remembering what I was to do that day as well. It was awesome.

While never a nag she would remind me, “Hey, today why don’t you do x, y, and z?” If you’re like me I highly recommending marrying one of those. Eventually they’ll get fed up and divorce you, but for a few years it’s a great ride.

I am committing to you bozos that I’m going to work this organization thing out. Over the past two years I’ve really stepped up my game. But even I have slip ups. I’m one of those people that will forget to pay his credit card bill on the thirteenth every month. The past two months I was a day late. I called all freaked out to the company and they waved however those charges thing works. Every other bill I have goes out automatically from my bank each month because of my memory.

From time to time I’m going to check in with you to hold myself accountable. For example, I have three contests for you that I haven’t executed because I keep forgetting to write them down and plan them out. To the dude who keeps emailing me photos of his wang, no, that’s not one of the contests. Also, please direct those photos elsewhere. I already have a wang.

Just for poops here’s my latest pocket notebook made by a local company in Chicago. I also ordered a fountain pen so I can seem ultra awesome to on-lookers.

notepad and fountain pen
This is the secret to organization. Having cool stuff.