Took the dog to the beach today. Got sunburned.
There are some people in your life that you need to disengage and bolt.
Recently a woman that I went on a few dates with a year ago asked me to help her find an apartment. Since I have dozens of leasing agents that work at my office, I offered assistance. Apparently she had started seeing some guy in her building, an artsy type that could hardly pay the bills, and they decided to move in together to save on rent. They were in love, but there were problems in the relationship. He has erection issues and also they never see each other due to their schedules. She wanted to move out, but was afraid he would be devastated and not able to take care of himself. I provided no advice other than that she trust her feelings.
She found an apartment and then had to tell him the news. She texted me a few times (didn’t want to talk over the phone for fear the boyfriend would suspect something) about being nervous and knowing that this was going to break his heart. I told her that I was there to support her if she needed anything. Eventually she revealed to him that she was moving out. He got angry, shamed her, and the situation was hard for both of them. Like all breakups are.
A few weeks go by and I thought to check in with her. I sent a text asking for an update. She wrote back. “I’m alive. Barely, but still here.” I freaked out, picked up the phone and left a voicemail. I wanted to confirm she wasn’t laying in a hospital bed.
A day later I got a test that said, “Thank you for the call. I’m okay – but it’s more complicated now. I’ve met a boy.”
I wrote a message back – “Jesus. No more dating. Learn how to be alone for awhile.”
She wrote back – “Hey, dumb ass, I haven’t dated for the past year. That’s why I am now.”
Thoroughly confused, I started to write a message back. And then I did that thing that I have failed to do many times before. I paused and ask the question, “Is this worth my time?”
I looked for an upside to continue this conversation. I couldn’t find one. And then I remembered she had only reached out to me to ask for help. She didn’t seem to be interested in my life. I’m not mad at her, but I realized that is not what I need. Plus, she’s obviously a little batty. I have my own crazy to deal with.
So, I did the responsible thing. Deleted the text messages and went and bought flowers for my hanging boxes on my patio.
