I’m a little worried these days.
This is going to sound like an insanely stupid problem, but here goes. I’ve been biking to work every day for over six months. Here in Chicago it’s getting close to hanging up the bike shorts (I have never worn bike shorts) for the season. Winter is coming.
I came down to Peoria this past Friday with my mom – see, she just bought a new car, and in an incredible act of generosity, is giving me her old car. So, we had to go to the DMV, do one of the title transfer things, order license plates, you know, car stuff.
When I was a newborn, I developed a double hernia at ten weeks and underwent emergency surgery.
During the delivery my mother received a botched epidural, and the doctor accidentally struck her spine. She was in a coma for four weeks.
During that time I was sent home with my father and two grandmothers. Within a few weeks they had started me on human food (bananas and such), which turned out to not be a great move. Apparently, my nervous system was not fully developed and I cried like crazy. Food shut me up.
The first time I met my wife was on a blind date. We were set up by a coworker of hers who told me I needed meet her friend. Since I didn’t know her coworker all that well, I couldn’t really ask the most important question my immature mind was thinking…
I have come to a sad and shameful realization. For some reason over the past few weeks, for perhaps the first time in my life…
I am not waking up on time.
Here’s my routine. I arise at 6am, shower, and slip into a t–shirt and shorts. I jump on my bicycle, strap the dog to my back and ride downtown.
About five years ago when I was dating my future wife, I mentioned to her that I was a little embarrassed because I had a bit of shoulder and back hair. As a blonde person this isn't the biggest deal in the world because the hair shows up lighter, but it still bothered me.
About five years ago when I was dating my future wife, I mentioned to her that I was a little embarrassed because I had a bit of shoulder and back hair. As a blonde person this isn’t the biggest deal in the world because the hair shows up lighter, but it still bothered me.
When is the last time you saw your father naked? I’m going to bet, for most of you, this is not an easy question to answer. Not because of the subject matter, but because you can’t quite remember a time when this happened.
Up until about a month ago, I was right there with you. If pressed, I supposed I would have answered something like you, which is:
When is the last time you saw your father naked? I’m going to bet, for most of you, this is not an easy question to answer. Not because of the subject matter, but because you can’t quite remember a time when this happened.
Up until about a month ago, I was right there with you. If pressed, I supposed I would have answered something like you, which is:
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
