The Support Group I’m Trying to Save

On a completely unrelated note - here's a shot of Al Pacino starring in the Phil Spector biopic. How damned amazing does this look?

When my wife called me on a Wednesday and told me she had filed for divorce, I didn’t know what to do.

I went into shock. My biggest fear had become realized. Even though she had not mentioned the word divorce any our past therapy sessions in hindsight there were signs she was planning an escape. I just didn’t think the prison break would come that particular Wednesday. It was cowardly to do without mentioning to me in advance, and I was angry. I was also terrified. I felt like a failure. I needed to do something fast. READ MORE

I Completely Screwed Up

C'mon - with a logo like that you know it's classy.

I really screwed up.

Today as I was attending my last session at BlogWorld I went to check my flight that was later that evening. Well, technically next morning – 12:30am. It was around two in the afternoon and I wanted to see if American had an earlier flight. I was kind of in a weird place. I had already checked out of my hotel and there was the closing keynote going on at 4pm. I really wanted to see it as it was a full television show production with a live band and Chris Hardwick. However, I knew that after the show I’d cab it to the airport and sit around for six hours before my flight. READ MORE

I’m Going To Be Making It Easier For You To Comment (and why I’m sad about this)

Start thinking of stuff to say and crap.

Okay – you’ve been yelling about this for over a year, and I’m finally listening.

I’ve been watching my comment counts go down over the past few months. This is odd because my pageviews are staying the same (and actually increasing every month). I had to conclude recently that my posts have been sucking nards. This is possible. I’m coming off nearly one full year of posting, and I felt some crappy posts have gone live in the past two months. Not a lot, but a few. READ MORE

The Legend of Toby Wong (a cactus)

Toby Wong II

This may be one of the sillier posts of the year.

When I was twenty three I took a big beer truck all over the country that opened up into a dance club. Without going into too many details, it was a fun gig and we partied seven days a week across most of the  continental  U.S. Living out of hotels getting blasted every day was definitely a surreal experience. By the end of two years I had no understanding of accountability or normalcy. I never knew anyone for more than a week. The only relationship I had was with a woman named Mia and it was for a five days in Buffalo. READ MORE

So Now I Use Rogaine

Yes, I finally took a photo of myself in the mirror using my phone. I must be the only person ever to do this clothed.

Back in April the woman that cuts my hair dropped the hammer.

She suggested we start to leave my hair a little longer on top. I was really excited for this news because I was gearing up for a funky new summer ‘do. Turns out it was because my hair is thinning. Now, since that post went live she has gone to great lengths (get it?!) to tell me I’m exaggerating and that I’m not losing my hair. It’s just not as thick and luxurious as it was three years back. But if it’s not as thick that means there are few strands. Ergo, I’m losing hair. READ MORE

I ReWrote Annie’s Post

This will haunt your dreams tonight. You're welcome.

At BlogHer I  attended  a half-day session hosted by the wonderful  MomoFali and DebOnTheRocks.

Near the end we were allowed to ask the entire group for something we needed. Then a member would raise their hand to promise assistance to that person. One woman, Annie, said she needed to learn how to become more funny. Nobody raised their hand. Deb poked me hard in the ribs and I yelped. I gave Annie my card. READ MORE

Want Some Free Crap Courtesy of Me?

None of these products are included in the giveaway. Man, that would be depressing.

I don’t ask you people for much.

Well, except your undying affection, validation, and readership. I expect that you check my blog daily, having already added it to your RSS reader (you read it there and by visiting the site). You follow me on Twitter and Facebook and laugh heartily at my every  witticism. When I’m a little down (like today) you already know this and send me that personal email telling me how touched your were that I wrote that one post about something. READ MORE

I Have Two Neck Vaginas!

Hi, I'm trustworthy enough to take out your daughter! Make sure she is wearing something tight. Tight is good.

This one caught me off guard.

I put an event together at our office recently to offer free headshots to employees. I realized that I had not updated my own headshot in over eight years.

Since then I’ve become fatter which is something I can fix at anytime except I started eating candy three years ago and have only occasionally come up for air. READ MORE

I’ve Used Women As My To-Do List – A Confession

This is the secret to organization. Having cool stuff.

One of the most difficult transitions I’ve made since the divorce is the realization that I had been using my wife as a notepad for the past five years.

When I hit junior high, I knew I had a to-do list problem. I simply didn’t keep one. That’s the age where I needed to start writing things down and planning appropriately. As a verified ADDer my memory sucks. I don’t mean in the same way everyone thinks their memory sucks. I’ve had a least a dozen people tell me my memory is the worst they’ve experienced. I wish I could over-exaggerate this fact, but it would not be easy. READ MORE