I’m Going to Impress You With a Big Word

I always wanted to write a piece where I used the word “precipice.”

Just wanted to say that. Great opener, yes?

Let’s move on.

We all need a council of people that will tell us the truth even when it hurts. If you don’t have such a group, you may want to build that into your life. READ MORE

The Twenty-Four Year Old Running The Chili’s Twitter Account is Fun

The past few weeks have been unfortunately busy. I’m trying to cut down on my adverbs, by the way. I couldn’t even make past the first sentence. Dammit.

Anyhow, my best friend’s father passed away and I traveled back to Peoria to attend to the services. I also was in a bad car crash (thankfully nobody was injured). Since then I’ve purchased a new car. Oh, and I went down to Dallas to visit my aging grandmother this past weekend. READ MORE

I Got Booted Out of a Men’s Support Group

Oh wait, this is a tech support group. Ignore.

You’re not supposed to get kicked out of a support group.

I mean, if you’re a total dick and making fun of a person’s problems or you start telling everyone’s secrets on your personal humor blog (see what I did there?), then I can understand it. But I got booted for not showing up. READ MORE

I’m Pretty Sure This is Sacrilegious

At the bottom it says, "You can run, but you can't hide"

I was on a date this Saturday and we visited a craft fair.

Now, normally I can only be found at fairs that start with the word Renaissance and spell fair with an “e” . Before you judge, I’d like to reiterate that I do NOT, under any circumstance, dress up as a knight or knave . Even though that would be awesome, I simply don’t have the courage. It’s a whole other level of commitment I can’t seem to summon. READ MORE

Tub Texting Together

I got excited because my friend Karen texted me she was in the tub.

Well, yes, I guess I could have become excited because she’s not exactly unattractive. But that didn’t occur to me in the moment. I jumped up from my sofa and bolted directly into the guest bathroom. My master bath just has a boring walk in shower. It’s kind of fancy, but I needed to soak with a friend. READ MORE

Guest Post – Erin Go Bra-Less

During my vacation I’m publishing posts from some of my favorite bloggers. Today is from a real quirky bitch –  Chrissy Woj of  Quirky Chrissy. Enjoy.

If there was a poster child for embarrassing tales, I should be it. I give new meaning to the phrase embarrassing moments…Whether I’m clumsily falling on my ass, behaving like a star-struck teenager in front of a bit player on the Chicago Bears, or screaming, “Keanu Reeves is hot!” in a movie theater that has suddenly gone from loud action scene to dead silence, I’m your girl. READ MORE

Guest Post – What The Space Shuttle & My Colon Have In Common

While I’m off on vacation, my favorite bloggers will be posting some guest spots. Here’s one from Kate Hall at CanIGetAnotherBottleofWhine

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One of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when I had a colonoscopy. I was having some issues in my “backyard” (rectum). And since  I’m a hypochondriac, I immediately scheduled an appointment with my internist, hoping he could ease my mind with a quick diagnosis or refer me to a specialist. READ MORE

I’ve Always Gone For the Makeout – A Confession

Well... not like these lame Roman Gods. Cooler ones with arrows and thunderbolts and big fists and stuff.

I’m thirty-six and I never learned how to date.

Back in high school when first dates were innocent and slow I assumed I was too ugly to attract a woman. (insert reader sob here. Wait… Did you actually sob? If not, go back and re-read. I want sobbing, dammit!) I did go on one date, but that was it. Other than a random kissing session, that was all I had. READ MORE