I couldn’t have been more excited the day of the operation.
Only once had I been cut up before, and it was for this laser eye surgery vision thing. It’s not exactly the biggest deal. The doctor doesn’t make you wear a gown with the open fanny area. You’re not doped up with medical grade opiates. You can wear your business suit during the procedure. You open your eye lids, hold still for 20 seconds, and congrats, you now have eagle vision. You’re back in your cubicle by lunch.
Throwing up while sober is more unpleasant than while drunk.
I’ve vomited maybe three times in the past dozen years, all from a flu or stomach ache. But back when I was drinking, puking after a binge was expected (and often welcomed). I would feel so shitty after a night of double whiskey sours that the next morning heaving out my insides would provide a modicum of relief. Sometimes even a small jolt of endorphins. It’s like a runner’s high, but without the running and nipple tape. But barfing sober, it just sucks from the coming attractions until the end credits.
I’ll get to the developer in a moment.
I’ve never had huge aspirations for this blog. I still don’t. Here at the blog conference in Las Vegas there are a lot of speakers that talk about monetizing your readers and how to make a career out of your passion. I’ve been around long enough to know that can be a very difficult goal to attain. It’s not my goal.
In this video sponsored by Cottonelle I talk about two, count ’em, embarrassing things I do in the bathroom. Watch it and get embarrassed for me.
If you don’t see the video below, click here to view!
Holy jumping Jesusfish! It’s been over four months since I let you promote your crappy blog on my crappy blog!
And it’s time, like that ridiculous phoenix everyone talks about metaphorically (but nobody actually knows the story) and rise from the ashes.
I miss writing.
For the past month I’ve taken time off and haven’t made the blog a priority. It’s a bummer because I miss my regular commenters. I also miss sharing my daily life. Quite frankly, outside of doing a lot of dating, not a whole lot has happened to mention. But not much happened last year and I still managed to write every day without a miss.
During my vacation I’m publishing posts from some of my favorite bloggers. Today is from a real quirky bitch – Chrissy Woj of Quirky Chrissy. Enjoy.
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If there was a poster child for embarrassing tales, I should be it. I give new meaning to the phrase embarrassing moments…Whether I’m clumsily falling on my ass, behaving like a star-struck teenager in front of a bit player on the Chicago Bears, or screaming, “Keanu Reeves is hot!” in a movie theater that has suddenly gone from loud action scene to dead silence, I’m your girl.
While I’m off on vacation, my favorite bloggers will be posting some guest spots. Here’s one from Kate Hall at CanIGetAnotherBottleofWhine
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One of the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me was when I had a colonoscopy. I was having some issues in my “backyard” (rectum). And since I’m a hypochondriac, I immediately scheduled an appointment with my internist, hoping he could ease my mind with a quick diagnosis or refer me to a specialist.
Okay, I just figured something out. When I cut some calories to try to lose a few pounds and also hit the gym every day, I just wind up exhausted. The funny drains out of my pores around mile three on the treadmill.
I’m at that stage of a new exercise and nutrition cycle where the food deficit plus the hard running is almost to difficult to maintain in my body or mind. But it’s time. Even though I biked my ass off this year I ate whatever the hell I wanted. I haven’t moved much since the cold set in. So now I’m in the process of breaking sine bad habits.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
