Tag: candy

I Bought Good & Plentys Without Shame

So proud.

Okay, I just figured something out. When I cut some calories to try to lose a few pounds and also hit the gym every day, I just wind up exhausted. The funny drains out of my pores around mile three on the treadmill.

I’m at that stage of a new exercise and nutrition cycle where the food deficit plus the hard running is almost to difficult to maintain in my body or mind. But it’s time. Even though I biked my ass off this year I ate whatever the hell I wanted. I haven’t moved much since the cold set in. So now I’m in the process of breaking sine bad habits. READ MORE

I Almost Ate One of Your Kidney Stones

Kidney Stones - the world's most disappointing rock candy lookalike.

One of my most dedicated readers and fellow bloggers passed a kidney stone today.

When I asked her to describe the pain (or lack of) she wrote, “It was like someone stabbed me in the back and then spun me around on the blade for six hours.” (Hyperbole much, Nicole?) If anything she’s more apt to make a joke of something that tell you how painful it really feels. She was even the hospital for a full day because it was serious. READ MORE

Today I Ate a Dead Man’s Lunch

Who walks by a Jimmy John's and goes, "Holy Jesus, that smell is heavenly!" It's not exactly the same olfactory workout you get when passing by a Mrs. Field's stand in the mall.

Okay, so I’m not sure how to write about this one.

I hired a guy about six months ago for a position. He was in his early sixties and one of the nicest people I had ever met. His past career had been in education and he was a dean at a university prior to working with us. He would come in every day and sit at his desk  working  to  build a business in real estate. READ MORE

That Leg Pretzel Thing New Agers Do Scares and Consumes Me

When I die, please fill my coffin with this.

You know what makes me secretly jealous? Ugh, I just realized I started a post with one of those stupid questions. Starting fresh.

I am secretly (although now it’s public) jealous of those dudes that can put their feet up on their thighs in that weirdo pretzel thing. A few weeks ago I was in a group that I attend of the support variety and one of the guys just busts that out while on his chair. It looked so easy and confortable.  Symmetrical. READ MORE

I Have Two Neck Vaginas!

Hi, I'm trustworthy enough to take out your daughter! Make sure she is wearing something tight. Tight is good.

This one caught me off guard.

I put an event together at our office recently to offer free headshots to employees. I realized that I had not updated my own headshot in over eight years.

Since then I’ve become fatter which is something I can fix at anytime except I started eating candy three years ago and have only occasionally come up for air. READ MORE

You Deserve Full Candy Bars on Halloween

If you're dressing like this after age 25, ladies, please... stop. If you're under 25, please continue.

Once again I had no trick or treaters.

Here in the city living in a condo I guess that’s the way it goes. Well, now that I think about it, there’s no way for someone to get in the building anyway. Oh yeah. Forgot about that. Hmm… One sentence in and now I have nothing to talk about. READ MORE