Today I Ate a Dead Man’s Lunch

Jimmy John's Free Smells
Who walks by a Jimmy John's and goes, "Holy Jesus, that smell is heavenly!" It's not exactly the same olfactory workout you get when passing by a Mrs. Field's stand in the mall.

Okay, so I’m not sure how to write about this one.

I hired a guy about six months ago for a position. He was in his early sixties and one of the nicest people I had ever met. His past career had been in education and he was a dean at a university prior to working with us. He would come in every day and sit at his desk  working  to  build a business in real estate.

Then, suddenly, he died.

His daughter called me on a Monday morning to tell me her dad had collapsed during dinner over the weekend. They were at a restaurant on Navy Pier. He was rushed to a hospital and passed away.

This was a few months ago and he’s sort of faded from my memory.

Today I was in my office and a Jimmy John’s delivery guy was ringing the doorbell. This is not unusual as people in the office often order subs from Jimmy John’s. Too boring for my taste.

I just realized how ludicrous it is for me to say Jimmy John’s is boring when I bring the exact same lunch to work every single day. Two turkey sandwiches with a slice of American cheese, spinach, and tomato on whole grain. I’m not exaggerating when I say every day. I probably brought something different maybe a dozen times this year. The rest were turkey sandwiches.

Anyway, somebody yelled throughout the office looking for whoever had ordered the lunch. Nobody answered.

I was on the phone at the time and didn’t really see what was happening. The next thing I knew I saw a huge platter of Jimmy John’s sandwiches being set down on a table. I assumed it was a freebie as from time to time they do this as a thank you for all the business we give them.

Well, it turns out the employee that died had put his card in a fishbowl months ago to win lunch for ten people. Apparently he had won. When the delivery guy arrived nobody knew what to do. I guess the thought was, “Well, we have ten people… They already made the sandwiches… Uh…”

So, we ate them.

I’d love to say that we sat around a break table silently reflecting, but we all eat at our desks and business was still going on. I, myself, grabbed a few turkey sandwiches (shocker) in between a video I was editing.

I felt sad and confused about eating subs which were really meant for a dead man. He might have planned on taking those home to his family – might never have been intended for us. The Jimmy John’s deliverer was not told that the man had passed on. I don’t know about the rest of the guys, but it sort of felt like we got away with something. There was never any malicious intention to steal food. I guess they didn’t know what else to do.

Thus far I haven’t had anyone close to me pass away. I’ve lost grandparents I hardly knew and a dog that was eighteen and a half, but it wasn’t devastating. When I got divorced, that was devastating, and it is loss. But I can still call my ex-wife if I need something, and I actually spoke to her this weekend about pet medicine. To lose a best friend, though, that’s coming my way eventually. Whether it will be my future wife or my buddies from gradeschool or my dad. It’s all in the plan.

I was reminded that intimacy is the only thing that matters when we’re alive. Or, at least that the best “meaning of life” I’ve deduced. Or induced. Whatever the right one is. I think it’s deduced.

Oh, and Jimmy John’s needs to have a wheat sub bread. This white bread crap is over. It’s almost 2013 for chrissakes. I got a near-hallucinogenic  sugar high from three half-subs. And I eat candy all the time. I need to show them my lunch sandwich. They’d be so impressed.

Jimmy John's Free Smells
Who walks by a Jimmy John’s and goes, “Holy Jesus, that smell is heavenly!”? It’s not exactly the same olfactory workout you get when passing by a Mrs. Field’s stand in the mall.

photo credit: cobalt123 via photopin cc

21 thoughts on “Today I Ate a Dead Man’s Lunch”

  1. imjustsayindamn says:

    I agree with you Jimmy John’s really does need a wheat sub. You would think a place where you could order sprouts on a sandwich would have a healthier alternative.  Oh well.  Did you all tip the delivery guy?  
    Jae Mac, I’m Just Sayin’…(Damn!)

  2. JCMogensen says:

    Does mortality make a free lunch less delicious? I bet it doesn’t.

  3. Barbergirl28 says:

    MMMMMmmmmmm… I love Jimmy Johns… we used to order them all the time when we were working at The Barbershop back home. I miss them though. I haven’t had a sub from there since I moved to California! Oh yeah – and I would have eaten the sandwich too. But now I am curious about what Jimmy Johns policy on Dead Man’s business cards!

  4. KateHall says:

    I’m with you on having nobody close to me die. I’m 41 and the closest people have been my grandparents. I keep waiting for the wall to drop – or whatever that cliche is that I can’t think of right now. I get anxious about it because I know it will be painful and hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced. Sucks.
    I need to stop commenting on your blog so much because I’m starting to look like a stalker. And smell like one too. Kind of like Jimmy John’s.

  5. cdesatoff says:

    I would totally have eaten the sandwich too.   I think the late Mr. Nice Person would have wanted it that way.

  6. CyFlys says:

    Loved this story…and I agree with cdesatoff re: Mr. Nice Person would have wanted it that way. Only a person as nice as this man can be nice even after being gone. And KateHall, it’s ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop’. I’m in the same boat and I dread it with every fiber of my being.

  7. Craziness Abounds says:

    I think we all like a free lunch every once in a while and the guy probably would have let everyone have it anyway. However you did bring up a good point about losing people near to us. I always tell my kids to make up before they leave the house (when they are fighting) you never know if you will see each other again. Death doesn’t really care how old or young you are.

  8. OldDogNewTits says:

    I think the reason I like to eat Jimmy John’s is BECAUSE of the white bread. Once or twice a year, a Wonder Bread sub (we say poboy in these parts) hits the spot. And speaking of “these parts,” the only reason JJ even exists here is that it’s owned by NOLA Saints QB Drew Brees. That man could sell turkey and cheese on Pop Tarts.

  9. BadScientryst says:

    I propose that your former colleague won that lunch for your office, not for himself.  If he had not wanted to share it with you and his coworkers, he would have crossed out your address and replaced it with some other location.

  10. raeme67 says:

    @Wxmouse @tfpHumorBlog I’m sure he didn’t mind.

    1. Wxmouse says:

      @raeme67 @tfpHumorBlog Didn’t have the guts to say anything anyway 😛

  11. Daniel Nest says:

    Sorry about the guy…but hey, you can’t let delicious sandwiches go to waste. He would’ve wanted it this way!

  12. workingdan says:

    I think that the guy who passed would be happy to know he left a mark on those he left behind. He has to be happy that even after he is gone, he is still doing good deeds!

  13. Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom says:

    I know this might sound a little hoagie, but it sounds like “dead guy” was a real hero that day.   The puns are sub-standard, I know…but trying to think up the stuff on the fly is a real grinder.

  14. WantToBWriter says:

    I for one am not a fan of Jimmy John’s. I just don’t get it. The subs just taste so plain there. Firehouse Subs… now that is a good tasting sub. Sorry to hear about the loss of your co-worker, but I’m sure he is happy someone got to enjoy them.

  15. YoungmanBrown says:

    Touching post dude. I’ve deduced that you’re a good guy 🙂

  16. wilyguy says:

    I’m not sure what I would have done in a similar quandary. Probably ate, burped and quietly thanked him in my head.
    Turkey? Is that how you get to stuff so many carcasses down the disposal?
    WG

  17. CyFlys says:

    THIS is my favorite story of yours thus far…

  18. cmonster the zombie says:

    The old boy was looking down on y’all and thought some sandwiches would be just the thing. The dead are funny that way.

  19. Tracy says:

    Life gives you chances to see something deeper. Your colleague could have given y’all the gift of spending 10 minutes together eating free food and checking in, connecting with each other, deepening your humanity and sharing a moment. Instead… What do you do with a dead guy’s sandwich? Take it and run back to your cubicle alone. 🙁

    Damn. I’ve seen chickens mourn a colleague for more than that. They actually sang a dirge. But the chickens would absolutely approve of eating his lunch. If they could, they’d get his credit card and order more. Chickens are heartless. If I died, they’d sing a dirge and then eat me. They’re no better than pigs – just slower.

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