I Was The Balloonicorn At BlogHer


On the first night of BlogHer balloon artist Kelly Cheatle worked in her room for five hours before the People’s Party.  Kelly was inspired by TheBloggess who has written extensively about the magic of the traveling red dress.

Just for a goof, she created The Traveling Red Balloon Dress.  It quickly became the focus of the party, and scores of women put it on, wore it, and then passed it to somebody new.

Tonight, at the SparkleCorn party, again, just for fun, Kelly hung out and created unicorn balloon hats for everyone.

Then, because…  actually I don’t why, exactly, but she made a full body unicorn suit.  In fact, I wasn’t even paying attention and all of a sudden it was around me.  And instantly I was the Balloonicorn.

The Balloonicorn was huge, tight, and hilarious.  The photo below is not representative of its full awesomeness.

The most important person in the universe is me, so this made sense.


Since I’m one of few men at BlogHer I think most women assumed I was some sort of walkaround hired living art thing.  After the fourteenth blogger failed to ask me what I write (which is the first thing that is normally asked) I realized I was no longer a blogger, but a showcase of latex.  I should probably reword that.

While I was slightly embarrassed wearing the suit I admit that it was nice to get attention.  Not the kind that feeds my ego, as I get enough of that here.  God bless you for that, by the way.  Why try to make myself feel important when I have you guys do to if for me?

Having people come over to me and talk was much easier than walking all the way over there.  I’m in no way shy, but I am lazy.  The Balloonicorn was a constant photo op and conversation starter.  It was just damned fun.

At the end of the night it was time, much like the traveling red balloon dress, to pass the Balloonicorn t0rch.  I picked a blogger who was nearby, and forced it upon her.  I should probably reword that, too.

The Balloonicorn at Sparklecorn was the most fun I’ve had thus far at BlogHer.  Ooh, and I finally got to plug in “thus” into a post!  I’m sophisticated!

Balloonicorn Giveaway
Good luck squatting over the toilet with that, new Balloonicorn! (that’s what chicks do, right?)

20 thoughts on “I Was The Balloonicorn At BlogHer”

  1. pdk117 says:

    Sounds like you had a really good time and you got to be the center of attention without even trying. you go boy. Pauly D @pdk117  

  2. Stephen says:

    Probably the funniest thing I’ve seen today.
    Bravo, sir.

  3. Fort Worth Mama says:

    A man with a long, pointy thing protruding from his waist amongst a room full of women — you must have felt like king for the night!

  4. wilyguy says:

    Showing off your latex horn in a crowd of women…epic.

  5. Katjaneway says:

    Bolloonicorn. Best word ever.

  6. WhateverJo says:

    ha ha I love the balloonicorn! Did it make squeaking noises all night?

  7. aliziacross says:

    and use paper towels (not the sames one of course) when touching each bathroom surface

  8. RachRiot says:

    I am relieved to know it wasn’t you who punched that unicorn cake centerpiece thingy at the party, because *as* the official balloonicorn, that would be like punching your mama. No one wants unicorn-on-unicorn violence.

  9. Craftyb says:

    You were such a trooper, lesser men would have balked. 😉 So happy we struck up a conversation early on- even if you’re second guessing that 😉

  10. dadblunders says:

    Lol… Sounds like you had a great time! Glad we got to see pictures too that made the unicorn experience complete!

  11. D.J. Paris says:

    @Craftyb  Love your balloons!!! You and husband are amazing.

  12. D.J. Paris says:

    @dadblunders  It was fun – please come next year!

  13. D.J. Paris says:

    @RachRiot  I didn’t see the punch but I heard about it. Ah, drunk people…

  14. D.J. Paris says:

    @aliziacross  I’m not really a “wash your hands” sort of guy. I probably should be.

  15. D.J. Paris says:

    @WhateverJo  It really did. Also, I was farting a lot.

  16. D.J. Paris says:

    @Fort Worth Mama  I did end up have sex with like six women there. It was pretty crazy.

  17. D.J. Paris says:

    @wilyguy  How dare you, sir. I use sheepskin.

  18. D.J. Paris says:

    @pdk117  Thanks – believe it or not, I really wasn’t the center of attention. Most people didn’t even notice!

  19. Abbie Gale says:

    What is with the unicorns??? Hilarious and you should have traded her for that gold lame bustier thing she has on.

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