Belly Woman Bike Envy

Uh, now that I'm looking at it. Hmm. I'm having a hard time processing all of this. It's too much.

I’m at my parents’ house this weekend in Peoria. I enjoy being here and spending time – there is little responsibility and it’s a lot of good food and laughing.

Today we took my car in for tire rotation and oil change, went to the post office, drove to a Kohl’s because they had a dri-fit shirt half off, installed a huge rug pad in the home office, and sat out on the patio talking. READ MORE

I’m Going To Share My Shame With You Fools

My sister needs to take better care of her money. The mortgage lender gave me a hard time accepting these bills. Dicks.

My sister flew in from NYC and we drove down this evening from Chicago to Peoria. During the trip we talked about our therapists. I didn’t know she was in analysis (I wish people used that term) and we compared notes. Turns out we have one similar issue. READ MORE

I Overpack For My Trips Home Just Like You

It's like this Renaissance sculptor really gets me, man. He gets me.

I do this every time…

Packing for a weekend home with my parents I aim high. I bring jeans, two pairs of dress pants, several solid color t-shirts, two button-down shirts, a polo, and workout clothes.

I also pack a book, my HD webcam, and notepad.  Of course I pre-load the phone with audiobooks and podcasts so I won’t be bored during the drive. READ MORE

I Wish I Had Guests Every Friday

I'm reasonably confident that I'd marry this woman.

My sister is flying in tomorrow for business. She thought it might be hang out over the weekend, so she extended her flight, canceled her hotel, and is staying with me. I’ll see her tomorrow night after work and then my haircut. There’s a good chance she’ll get to the condo before me. READ MORE

My Knee Is Not Unique Anymore!

Are these all the teeth horses have? I feel like I should know this as I was married to a vet and we owned one.

I have to say that in some ways I’m not like you.

For example you most likely haven’t talked about conditioning your private hair with your father. Or confessed that during phone conversations with loved ones  you do inappropriate personal activity. Also, you probably don’t ride a bike to work with a dog in a backpack. Your first, middle, and last names probably aren’t as unusual as mine (plus I’m a “third”) for a pale while boy with blonde hair. READ MORE

The Thoughts I Had During My Ride To Work

This guy is trying too hard. I look way less cool. Plus, I don't ride a girl's bike.

I’m without phone for a few days. My usb port on the phone died and then the phone followed suit.  I have another phone coming but won’t be here until Wednesday.  I’m off the grid!  (if the grid just meant cellular) – so if you want to Skype, get dressed up in your Sunday best, a tight sweater if you’re a woman, and find me! READ MORE

Criticism – Let’s Get Fixed

Let's Get Fixed

Last Sunday a bunch of us committed to changing something in our lives that needed to shift.

Time to check in AND set a new goal.

So…

Okay, I can’t not laugh with that logo. I’d like someone to make it prettier, but… No, it’s perfect the way it is. It needs to be fixed – so it can never be. I just went meta, mofo! READ MORE

I Ate True Chicago Fried Chicken

I don't mind placing an order through bulletproof glass, but when I blew her a kiss, I'm afraid it didn't make it through the polycarbonate. Did she feel it?

I remember a handful of times going to fried chicken restaurants as a child. Over the years I had it at birthday parties and other friends’ houses. The thing is – I don’t remember liking it all that much. The drumsticks are great, but every other part of the fried chicken experience is a five to me. READ MORE

I Sometimes Order Domino’s – A Confession

I would eat this dog just for dressing like a lobster.

The title is pretty clear, yes?

Yesterday I didn’t really eat much other than yogurt, cereal, and protein drink. That’s not enough calories to get you healthfully through two ten mile bike rides to and from work. Since I often forget to eat during the day, I come home exhausted, sweaty, and famished. READ MORE