I Overpack For My Trips Home Just Like You

Sleeping Statue
It's like this Renaissance sculptor really gets me, man. He gets me.

I do this every time…

Packing for a weekend home with my parents I aim high. I bring jeans, two pairs of dress pants, several solid color t-shirts, two button-down shirts, a polo, and workout clothes.

I also pack a book, my HD webcam, and notepad.  Of course I pre-load the phone with audiobooks and podcasts so I won’t be bored during the drive.

Here is my actual plan…

During Drive Goals

  • Call four friends that I’ve been putting off.
  • Listen to more of  Outliers  by Gladwell.
  • Play last weeks’ This American Life and The Moth.
  • When brilliant joke and blog ideas come into my head (and they surely will) have pen handy to jot down the awesomeness.
  • Spend 15 minutes with just me – no noise. See what feelings and thoughts come up.

What Actually Happens

  • I call one friend, monopolize  the conversation and twenty minutes later hang up after he tells me he “really has to go.”
  • Listen to four minutes of Outliers as Gladwell’s voice puts me into a Valium flashback.
  • After twenty minutes of TAL they introduce a fiction piece – I turn off.  I want to hear real stories like on The Moth – but sometimes The Moth is super depressing. Best not risk it.
  • One good joke comes into my head, but by the time I fish around for the moleskine notebook it disappears into the ether. I return to thinking about the Coexist bumper sticker I just saw and wonder if the dude who made it gets any royalties.
  • I spent 5 minutes with just me – no noise. Start interviewing myself as if I’m on a talk show. Realize this is severe narcissism and stop thinking altogether.

When I get to Peoria, my plan to work out, finally get my QuickBooks thing up and running, complete my to-do list of activities, record a vlog about some funny story from my childhood, respond to every tweet and blog comment from the past week, call several friends who live in town and go out every night to meet up for drinks.

Smash cut to Saturday night where I’m passed out on the family room couch from eating too many ribs. I will nap from 6-9pm and then wake up, check my email, and go back to bed by 11pm. I will arise the next day at 9am. Since I still had those two PayDay bars I bought at the gas station on the way down, I will find them in my overnight bag and eat them for breakfast. Clearly I’m not in shape to run after that so I head to the kitchen, eat some fruit while baking seven strips of bacon. I will also have chips and salsa.

Even though my mom has said since Friday, “Why don’t we all go to church on Sunday? C’mon it’ll be fun!” My sister and I will look at her with blank stares. She will not be able to get us out of bed in time for service, and I will also complain that I forgot to bring home a suit.

No workouts will be completed, no wearing of the dress clothes, no hanging out on the town. Just a lot of food and sleep. And spending time with the one group that doesn’t care how much I accomplish or not-accomplish – my family.

And yes, the dog is coming. Photos to follow.

Sleeping Statue
It’s like this Renaissance sculptor really gets me, man. He gets me.

photo credit: UGArdener via photo pin cc

9 thoughts on “I Overpack For My Trips Home Just Like You”

  1. kathym425 says:

    Forget goals, that sounds like a pretty relaxing weekend to me; something we all need once in a while.  I mean, it doesn’t get any better than a rib induced coma 😉

  2. about100percent says:

    I too have lofty goals in mind when visiting family.   Mostly they include meeting up with friends for drinks and reliving my college days.Instead I drink all my parents’ wine and watch  westerns with my dad.   Last time I went home we watched the Hatfields&McCoys miniseries.  It was awesome.

  3. MarieLoerzel says:

    Apparently, we are exact opposites.  Except for the church thing….

  4. inthemomlight says:

    Here’s a tip – this one’s free, but I’m not always so nice.  Get the Evernote app!  You can record a voice note while you drive which is much safer.  As you know, a lot of randomness enters my head.  It would be a SIN for this valuable info to be lost.  I capture [most] of it via Evernote so I won’t forget to share my quirkiness with the world!

  5. Kelly Fox says:

    My parents live an hour away and I see them often, cause i lurb them best. They are so awesome. Truly. Have a spectacular time!

  6. ModMomBeyondIndieDom says:

    I overpack always. It’s ridiculous. I just never know where my mood will take me or if Johnny Depp will suddenly appear out of nowhere and ask me to hang out and then what if I don’t have my leather jacket, Frye boots and quirky bracelet collection? Better to be prepared at all times.

  7. LHMarley says:

    10 bikinis? for Cabo…is that over packing or under packing?

  8. dadblunders says:

    I always aim high and make good plans for traveling. I wish my follow through was half as good as my plan making skills. I am unsure what always happens but it definitly never goes according to plan.Aaron

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