thoughts

If I Don’t Exercise I’m Nuts

This guy has not been laid since the millennium.

The longer, more accurate title would be “If I Don’t Excercise, I Turn Into a Raging Asshole Nobody Appreciates.”

I am cursed.  Cursed I tell ye!

Well, not really.  But I do have this weird body thing.  I’m wired up to always have extreme energy.  I tap my foot constantly, talk fast, and generally act like a spaz.  Call it ADD or whatever.  The bummer is that I can’t take traditional meds for this because my body is also wired for addiction.  Taking amphetamines isn’t a good idea.  Same reason why I can’t drink, use drugs, or do caffeine.  I kind of love it too much. READ MORE

My Heroes

Yes, I'm already crying.

I have always had heroes.

On my way into work when I’m not listening to a podcast or one of my old Weird Al albums, I get quiet and think.  About myself.  Within a minute or two I start interviewing myself as if I were a guest on some important television program, answering questions about my life.  I’ve written about this before, and while it seems like narcissism I actually think it’s about me getting to know myself a little better. READ MORE

Pets Die

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My girlfriend’s cat is dying.

The vet has given her three months.  They found a bunch of tumors in Muchie’s abdomen and think that this is a terminal situation.  She also has had diabetes for years.  When Jessica visited me for three weeks this summer she drove up from Atlanta with both her cat and dog.  She couldn’t leave the cat by herself because sometimes she doesn’t drink enough water and needs fluids.  Plus, you have to test her blood sugar and all of that. READ MORE

Blog From the Bathtub

I didn't realize that rose petals and horchata made for great bathing substrate. Going on my to-do list.

Months ago I did a  vlog from the bathtub. It was pretty gross.

That was the last time I took a bath. Well, it’s Saturday night and my dance card is empty, so it’s time for a soak. …In a porcelain tub with a glass of water.  And a cat walking around.  And a dog hiding because she thinks I’m going to pull her in (which I totally do, it’s how she gets bathed). READ MORE

$115 at 100 °

Looked for the cheesiest visual representation of a "bad day.” Found it.

This morning when I biked to work, I really shouldn’t have.

It was 90 ° at 7:45am with humidity above 50%.  I had the dog in a backpack, and a pack of my suit and clothes sitting above the rear wheel.  I bike along Lake Michigan, and, while beautiful, is also tough because the wind coming off the lake is usually shooting right at me. READ MORE

Do NOT Touch the Thermostat!

You can tell by their expressions that these kids were terrified to shit of their folks.

I am not a parent.   Not yet.

(Aren’t you glad I didn’t do a “not that I know of” joke?   Those are never funny.   Plus, I can tell by looking at a woman how fertile she is.   I never went for those chicks.)

(Yes, that was a joke.   Would be an awesome skill for a guy at twenty two, though.   “I’m sorry Sally, I can’t take you to the Bijou tonight.   You appear too fertile.   I will instead accompany your roommate, Madeline.   Good morrow!”) READ MORE

I Can Now Edit All Of Your Comments

The one in the white is not happy I rewrote her comment to say that the one in the pink is "hippy.”

My favorite tech company,  LiveFyre, has finally given us bloggers the keys to the kingdom.

We can now edit your comments as we see fit.

I am going to have so much fun with this.  I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I’ve decided to set up each day with a theme.  Of course I’m going to take all your comments and adjust them to fit the following theme. READ MORE

I Love Getting Goosed

Not-ironically I make the same face when I'm goosed.

One thing I’ve realized that is important for my well-being is the idea of making my world larger.

Not the one I’m constructing in my cellar out of paper mache.  That world is precisely the right size, and it’s not like I’m crazy or anything, but if there were little people  inhabiting it they would probably bow to me as their perfect God. READ MORE

I Made it Six Months (and I didn’t even brag! oh wait…)

Stopped reading my blog after a February post entitled, "Just Die Already and Give Your Grandson the Cadillac”

When I was at BlogWorld LA last fall I kept hearing about the  Ultimate Blog Challenge.  I was posting every few days.

If you’ve read Malcolm Gladwell’s  Outliers  you’ll remember that he keeps coming back to the magic number of ten thousand hours for mastery at any skill. READ MORE