The longer, more accurate title would be “If I Don’t Excercise, I Turn Into a Raging Asshole Nobody Appreciates.â€
I am cursed. Cursed I tell ye!
Well, not really. But I do have this weird body thing. I’m wired up to always have extreme energy. I tap my foot constantly, talk fast, and generally act like a spaz. Call it ADD or whatever. The bummer is that I can’t take traditional meds for this because my body is also wired for addiction. Taking amphetamines isn’t a good idea. Same reason why I can’t drink, use drugs, or do caffeine. I kind of love it too much.
There are non-stimulant medicines, but they work just slightly. So that leaves a bunch of other stuff I must do in order to get rid of this excess energy.
If I don’t get rid of the energy it comes out in all sorts of weird ways. I can get really angry at things that are meaningless. Just this afternoon I was pretty much yelling at my girlfriend because she didn’t take every piece of advice I had for her on a job interview. I clearly know exactly what she should be doing. Why isn’t she blindly accepting all of my genius? Doesn’t it sound fun to date me?
But, like a stoner after a bongload from the Graffix two-footer, had I run a few miles there’s no way I would have the energy or the inclination to shame my girlfriend. I would have purged all that energy out.
Also, I am not one of those guys that just lives to exercise. I’m being a little unfair, as I do ride my bike 20 miles each day (to and from work). While this sounds like a lot of cardio, and it is a decent amount, it’s really not enough for me. I’m still a little bit of a spaz afterwards. However, I don’t understand guys who can’t wait to get to the gym! But it’s a good idea to lift a few weights and run a mile or two. The science is in on exercise.
For the first time in forever, tomorrow after I get home I’m heading to the gym to do a quick 45 minute strength workout. Will I bust out of my shirt like Lou Ferrigno? You know I will.
Aside from exhausting my body, what else can I do? Two things come to mind. Yoga and meditation. These are both integrative experiences to bring the attention to the present of the body and mind. However, I don’t do these either. But I’m going to do a seven minute meditation tonight. I’m looking for a yoga thing via Groupon or something so I can try it out. Not sure which one is best for me. Hopefully not the one where everyone farts during baby-pose.
Here’s my formula for being a normal, non-shithead:
Healthy eating + cardio/weights + therapist + intimate connections with people + medicine + integrated activity (yoga, etc.) + honesty and vulnerability on this blog = Healthy D.J.
Oh, and when I make fun of your comments below, I’m not being a shithead. You deserve it.
photo credit: The Eggplant via photo pin cc
