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This one caught me off guard.
I put an event together at our office recently to offer free headshots to employees. I realized that I had not updated my own headshot in over eight years.
Since then I’ve become fatter which is something I can fix at anytime except I started eating candy three years ago and have only occasionally come up for air.
This morning I received an interview request from the Chicago Tribune.
Since I’m always in search of external validation I was excited that someone felt it was important to talk with me. About me.
If you’re not familiar with Chicago, the Tribune is our flagship newspaper and one of the ten biggest in the country. The have real reporters and probably an ombudsman. They’re the real deal. I announced at work that they sent me a message to interview me. Just the other day an obscene t-shirt manufacturer reached out to me asking to help promote their clothing line. They said to pick any t-shirt I wanted for free. I also had practically yelled this at work. Nobody was impressed.
Exhausted after a night of partying with the AimingLow NonCon participants.
This will be really short. I don’t normally do “short” (I don’t even respect short people), but this is deserved of visual goodness. The event tonight was a superhero themed party. It was amazing and I can’t begin to tell you of all the hilarious costumes. I can’t because I’ll feel like a dick if I mention one and not all.
I’ve been wearing Lucky Brand jeans for over ten years.
While I’m not fashion forward I do like a decent pair of denim. Every year I pick up one or two new pairs of Lucky’s. They run about $130. I match them with solid color t-shirts.
I took Lil’ Miss Meepers back to her original animal hospital this morning.
When I first met the dog she was a patient with parvo, the deadliest disease a puppy can catch. It kills most dogs it infects. She weighed one pound, seven ounces. Christina brought her to the condo on a Friday night. She had never brought an animal home before.
To catch up with my fight against the Man, here’s part I, yo. Then, here’s part two, yo. Yo!
So, this loser police officer decided to take my driver’s license and write me up a moving violation (the same that you would get if you blew through a red light in a car). As he drove away I wished ill upon his children. Smallpox, if I remember correctly. When I arrived to work upon hearing the story everyone laughed at me.
In Part I we left off with a cop yelling at me to pull over on my bicycle. I had just blown through a red light.
The policedick appeared out of nowhere and ordered me to stop. At 7:30am on my bicycle. He was a stereotypical Chicago cop. The southside accent, the reflective aviator sunglasses that even hipsters don’t wear. And, oh yeah, he had a terrible mustache and was overweight.
I forgot about this!
But obviously I remembered as I’m writing about it now. Ugh – this whole intro was expositionally inappropriate. I use big words!!!
A few years ago a cop took my license away.
I should mention that I have had a perfect driving record for nigh on fifteen years. I think I got a speeding ticket back when I was twenty-two. That could be a dream I had, however. I truly don’t remember.
There are times when I geniunely say thing I oughtn’t. Yeah, I know. We’ll all do.
But let me give you an example of my version of this gaffe. Back in college I worked at the local grocery in the photo lab. Most of the people I dealt with were students, usually sorority girls dropping off last night’s drunken formal shots. One of my flirting techniques was to say…
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
