These are posts that will go in the blog, under the slider
This post will not fall under the general hilarity that is my regular musing wit.
I am in a funk tonight. I had an exhausting (but good) day at work. Something incredibly shitty happened at the end that sent me off into a rage. As someone that has avoided his feelings most of his life I do not yet handle extremes well. Things like anger and sadness and fear hit me very hard. In the past I never learned how to sit or tolerate them. I learned that the best thing to do was to run from them.
I have a habit where I make a bunch of promises that, in the moment, seem perfectly doable.
Then a few days go by and I realize, “Ugh, I don’t want to do this at all.” In the past month alone I thought of writing an ebook unrelated to this blog, starting a site for male humor bloggers, and working on a podcast. The podcast thing is actually happening, and we’ll see how it goes. But, if after a few episodes it turns into a bust, oh well.
There is one hair that grows on the underside of my chin pointed the wrong direction.
I shave with an electric razor which does a good job in that area. It’s completely smooth when I’m finished. Except for that one hair. No matter how many times I go over that spot in whichever direction it doesn’t get cut. If I don’t shave for a few days and then use the razor, it does get cut, but just the same as if I shaved every day.
Many things that I write about are unexpected. Here’s another one.
I got my haircut last night and, while driving home, called Jessica (the girlfriend). Wait, I’d like to back up a step and complain about something. Okay, if you read my stuff you know I bicycle to work and it’s pretty strenuous. I go to one of these high-end salons in the Gold Coast of Chicago off Michigan Avenue. For three years I’ve been a patron, and for three years I’ve biked there. I arrive covered in sweat with the helmet, my gross bike clothes, and my dog in a backpack. They couldn’t be nicer about it. During the winter months I take the subway still with dog in tow.
At BlogHer I attended a half-day session hosted by the wonderful MomoFali and DebOnTheRocks.
Near the end we were allowed to ask the entire group for something we needed. Then a member would raise their hand to promise assistance to that person. One woman, Annie, said she needed to learn how to become more funny. Nobody raised their hand. Deb poked me hard in the ribs and I yelped. I gave Annie my card.
I’m excited.
For the past year I’ve wanted to do something other than just write here on the blog. Writing is what I do best and, quite frankly, what I enjoy most. Since I pump out content each day my words aren’t as expertly crafted as I would prefer. If I write less frequently and in a longer format I think I could really produce something of quality. I’m trying to get my act together, and starting in 2013 will work on some sort of book.
I’ve written about this before – how I scammed my way up Google charts to be #1 for “best blogs” and such.
This was pre-Penguin (Google update that ousted all the bozos like me) and the times were good. I was getting courted by corporate advertisers who thought I was a big deal. That’s all dried up now, and I’m building the brand the same way anyone who never gets a big viral hit does – one reader at a time.
My grandfather died when I was in high school and we inherited his Cadillac.
I already had a car at the time, a Merkur XR4Ti. Even though it was a hand-me-down with 200k miles, it was still pretty cool. Leather seats, sunroof, turbo injection. And stick shift. Every kid’s first car should be stick shift.
I’m excited to announce the first ever ThoughtsFromParis contest courtesy of Vapor4Life.
When I was a teenager I got busted for everything I shouldn’t have been doing. Drinking, smoking, and girls. Okay, not girls. I didn’t have girls. Sad.
I'll never give this child another cigarette, pinky swears!
