Hey, remember all the crazy crap I did last year? Me neither!
Thankfully the internet records all my goodness for you. I decided to see what I was up to this past year, reflected in my tweets and Facebook status updates.
I present to you, my dearest readers (that mean the ones most dear, namely the hottest) with a few choice selections from my brain. This is TweetsFromParis.
Part I is January through June, two per month. Enjoy!
- Received four new stools in the mail today. And I’ll beat you to the joke by answering that, “No, they’re not soft.” Jan 05, 2011
- Just got busted – guy said, “You can’t bring a dog into Jewel.” I said, “Wow – you’re right!” like I was as surprised as him. Kept shopping. Jan 14, 2011
- Took a quiz to determine what religion suits my beliefs best – came back with 92% match with Liberal Quakers. Going to start my beard today. Feb 02, 2011
- Just saw an almost certain lesbian on the subway with the exact same haircut as myself. We nodded warmly toward one another in appreciation. Feb 22, 2011
- After three nights of sleeping in the guest bedroom as experiment to see if I felt like a guest, I can say, “No, did not feel like a guest.” Mar 02, 2011
- While I judge those who wear crazy clothing on the subway that scream, “please look at ME!”, I realize I do the same thing via these updates. Mar 12, 2011
- As I sit here feeling occasional shame about my imperfections, it’s nice to have a cat and dog who are not the least bit disappointed in me. Apr 01, 2011
- I’m not sure how the forces in the universe operate, but one just guided me to Wikipedia to read all about The Fat Boys. Apr 04, 2011
- I wish the jacuzzi I was just in was filled with aloe vera as opposed to water and 10 guys from Long Island. Sunburn!!! May 20, 2011
- If I ran things over at the Wonka division at Nestle, my first order of business would be to retire the banana candy in Runts. May 30, 2011
- Anyone want to do something? I mean, I’m open if it’s cool. Wait, that sounds desperate. Forget I said anything. Jun 05, 2011
- I find it funny that I order my popcorn from the Amish, yet the thought of actually talking to one sort of skeeves me out. (it’s the beard) Jun 11, 2011
- Time to super-clean so that the woman who is checking on my cat while I’m away does not know the truth about how gross I really am. Jun 22, 2011