Yesterday I wrote about how I disgustingly wash my dog’s bathroom in the dishwasher several times a year. I’m sorry you had to read that (and if this is your first visit, you’re heading there now).
I poked my girlfriend (not that way) as we’re lying here in bed because I forgot to post today and I need to keep up my streak of no misses in 2012. We had just watched We Need To Talk About Kevin which was fantastic but also one of the most depressing movies I’ve seen. I have absolutely no funny in me. And for some reason I’m terrified. I had to ask Jessica to hold me. Then I asked her what to write about.
She said, “Poop.”
Ah, that’s right! My cat who is now on day 45 of not peeing on my bed (there is an Allah) decided, for the first time yesterday, to poop in the guest bathroom. In the bathtub. I should have taken a photo, but I didn’t see it. The girlfriend cleaned it up.
Then, her dog Dirk decided to poop on the neighbor’s doormat. We share a back deck and earlier I saw Dirk head over to her side. He stopped at the mat, lifted his leg, and peed right on it. I applauded his moxie. I’m not sure why, but I loved it. Sure, I’m not a great neighbor, but I have other decent qualities.
Well, later today, he headed over there and pooped right on the same spot. Again, I didn’t really have a problem with this. I mean, we cleaned it up and they’re leaving to go back to the ATL on Tuesday. So this won’t be a serial thing, at least until she moves up here. That neighbor’s mat is going to be only 60% nylon when Dirk’s done with it. The rest will be comprised of his back and front nonsense. I guess dogs don’t really have “back and front” nonsense like we do. Oh well, I’m not changing it.
Oh!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’d be remiss (lame corporate phrase that needs to go away) to mention that I accidentally stumbled on The Shit Fountain in the East Village here in Chicago. We parked right next to it. I love this.
Becky G says:
Hearing about your dog’s toilet being cleaned in your dish washer was indeed my first visit. Thanks….I think. I’m glad I stopped by though, I do find your writing funny.
The Shit Fountain. How did I possibly grow up near Chicago and not know about this?
Becky G says:
Reading about you washing your dog’s toilet in your dishwasher – that was indeed my first visit. Thanks…I think. Nothing like getting it all out there right up front.
The Shit Fountain. How did I grow up near Chicago and not know about this? Awesome.
litwitlia says:
I had a cat that would routinely shit on my boyfriend’s shoes. At the time, I was mortified. Once he fell into the “ex” category, I thanked the cat for her attempts to tell me he was an asshat and apologized for not taking her warnings seriously. So perhaps Dirk is, in his scatological way, trying to alert you to something unsavory about the neighbors.
Craziness Abounds says:
What is it with men and poop? lol