I see a therapist once a week. And while nobody would describe me as “nuts” (Well, maybe a few people would. Like Steve. But Steve’s the one who’s nuts. You hear me Steve? You’re nuts!! Nuts!!!), I still have a number of issues. Everyone who knows me would most likely agree. I mean, I write a blog, for chrissakes. Nobody without issues writes a blog. Sorry to every other blogger who reads this. You’re included.
The waiting room of a therapist’s office is an interesting place. Therapists are professionals that people tend to see regularly. And if you’re committed to getting better, you’re in that waiting area a lot. Most likely a several minutes every week.
I walked into the office this morning and I saw Denise. She was sitting and her head was hunched over nearly parallel to the ground. I could feel the energy. Denise was having a rough time. She was sad.
Now, I don’t know her real name as she’s just another bozo like me who goes to see a shrink. But to me she’s Denise. And we have a relationship.
I’ve seen Denise for about a year, every single Tuesday from 10:10am to 10:15am. And yet, we’ve never uttered a word. We don’t even nod. But I notice her and she me.
A few weeks ago Denise was not there and I felt anxious. I hoped she was okay.
I already know her life story. Her parents gave her sister more attention. She cut her hair in March but she hates it. She is dissatisfied at work and would like to leave the non-profit sector. Her boyfriend is a hipster and she loves him. She hopes to be married before thirty.
After seeing her hunched over, I did something. Even though the waiting room was empty, I sat down right next to Denise. This is unheard of in the waiting area. Nobody has ever sat next to me. Denise and I are always opposite each other. We’re the only regulars. The rest come and go, but not us. We’re there every week.
I sat next to her because it felt like the sort of thing you would do a friend who was struggling. It was the only intimately appropriate thing to do. Most likely we’ll continue our no-talking streak and only glance at each other for a moment as per usual.
Sitting near her, I tried to first sense if she was getting spooked by the closeness. We’re in wide fabric chairs, so it’s not like I’m on top of her, but still. She seemed detached and not to have noticed this bold move. It didn’t matter.
I could have had it all wrong. Denise might have been on cloud nine and was celebrating internally. She could have been having cramps and that’s why she was doubled over.
I’m not sure why I find myself saying this, but I’m glad I see her every week. I guess it’s because we both struggle and we both get help. We’re doing the work. And it is a relationship.
Katjaneway says:
Wow that’s amazing. Good for you. I don’t think I could be so bold. That was very nice of you.
D.J. Paris says:
@Katjaneway It really was nice of me. I’m a hero!
HeyMikey says:
I probably would have just sat there and watched her spontaneously combust and pretended I didn’t see her, or asked her to leave until the therapist called me in because she was making me uncomfortable.
HeyMikey says:
I probably would have just sat there and watched denise spontaneously combust and pretended I didn’t see her, or asked her to leave until the therapist called me in because she was making me uncomfortable. I don’t do human interaction unless someone hectors me into it, and then only to make them go away—kind of like my version of playing dead.
HeyMikey says:
I probably would have just sat there and watched Denise spontaneously combust and pretended I didn’t see her, or asked her to leave until the therapist called me in because she was making me uncomfortable. I don’t do human interaction unless someone hectors me into it, and then only to make them go away—kind of like my version of playing dead.
Sydney Aaliyah says:
I think for me it just helps to be reminded that you not all alone. Great post. Your right, all bloggers have issues.;)
D.J. Paris says:
You, in particular. I know all about you. Yeah, that thing. The other thing, too.
shy_one96 says:
YOU Sir have a HEART OF GOLD and yes I was virtually yelling that. I would have given anything for someone to simply sit next to me during therapy. Way to go you deserve a really big hug or a snickers. ^_^
D.J. Paris says:
@shy_one96 Wow! I really don’t, mostly. But thank you for seeing the little bit of gold that does exist there!
vwada says:
That was beautiful! =)
D.J. Paris says:
@vwada Thanks, Vanessa!!!!!!!!!
Cillymom says:
That was a good article. I even chuckled as she may have just been having cramps!
D.J. Paris says:
@Cillymom Let’s face it – mensies are real.
CarrieSieffert says:
This was such a great piece. And I agree, all bloggers have issues. But I would go so far as to suggest every person has issues. Bloggers just choose to tell whoever will listen their problems. Apparently the more screwed up you are, the more people will love it, which incidently is why I love your blog.
D.J. Paris says:
@CarrieSieffert What an awesome left-handed compliment. I’m offended but also grateful. Ha.
bradyshaw says:
HI Paris:
You are so funny because you are so real. We love that! Thank you for inviting me to read your post on your blog. Not Paris France huh, well that did my attention initially. And now look here and you are a very nice person. It is nice you love Denise too.
Check out my lil blog if you like and follow me PLEASE PLEASE ha ha! when you get a moment.
Thanks dude and keep the positive energy coming our w ay!
KK
http://www.getoveryourselfplease.blogspot.com
D.J. Paris says:
@bradyshaw Hi – thanks for the kind reply. Appreciate your readership! I will check out your blog. In the future refrain from putting your link in the comment – it’s already on your username. Thanks!
D.J. Paris says:
@bradyshaw I’m nice? Ask my ex-wife and past girlfriends. They’ll tell you otherwise. Actually, they won’t. I am nice. Ha.
about100percent says:
Very nice. We all need a friend like Denise has.
D.J. Paris says:
@about100percent Oh, I just want to ask her out. She’s hot. I don’t care about her problems. Boo hoo, Denise! 🙂
Stilts says:
Of course we bloggers have issues…where to even begin?!? But as someone who has very much been in Denise’s shoes, I’ll say that I wish someone would have done that for me. It’s good to know the world is not completely devoid of people with empathy and compassion. Great post.
D.J. Paris says:
Well, it’s not like I talked with her. She’s probably nuts. Ha.
MissBatman24 says:
So, if I blog and I talked my friend into blogging with me, does that mean I gave her issues?
HeyMikey says:
@MissBatman24 If you’re a good friend, you’ll encourage her to blog. If you’re a bad friend, you’ll give her something to blog about.
MissBatman24 says:
@HeyMikey haha, thanks. I guess I’m okay for now
edenbaylee says:
In the silence there is comfort.
eden
D.J. Paris says:
@edenbaylee It’s more fun to be in the middle of noise. Ha.
TLanceB says:
I’m more like your friend Steve, I’m nuts: http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2012/04/30/the-chemicals-between-us/
For 25 years I’ve struggled with a crippling social anxiety disorder. There are other issues too but that’s the lead one, I guess. I’ve been in and out of therapy since 2006. The things I notice the most about my therapist’s office are the magazines (all new age philosophy, post modern architecture, and news) and the relative calm between lobby and therapist’s office. It’s like a buffer zone between the cold cruel world and the wall of crazy once you sit on the couch.
I related to every word and I’m so glad I followed the recommendation to read this well written blog. Trust me, I’ll be back.
D.J. Paris says:
@TLanceB Thanks, Lance! I recommend just going out in public (have somebody force you) and just make a fool of yourself. When you realize nobody really gives a shit, since they’re only thinking about their own stuff, it should go away. Trust me, I’m a doctor. Not really.
Andi Roo says:
I must be *REALLY* bonkers. I always try & ignore the other people in the waiting room, because all I can think is, “They know I’m messed up, & I know they’re messed up, & we’re all here cuz we’re all messed up.” Making eye contact acknowledges this fact. I don’t want to be viewed as messed up, even if that’s what I am. And I don’t want to know why the other person is messed up. It might be too much emotional weight for me to carry, when I’m already loaded down with my own issues. See? I’m a very selfish, effed up person.
D.J. Paris says:
@Andi Roo Yeah, you should get over that. I think I’m messed up, but not to other people in the waiting room. Just to people that don’t need to go to therapy.
simply says:
you mean i am not the only one who not only is aware of people around me…but someone might be aware of me?….
(I’m going to need to ponder that one. I have always “felt” invisible.)
D.J. Paris says:
Oh, no, you are invisible. Nobody notices. Sorry. (if you were cooler, they would)
LorryFrances says:
@tfpHumorBlog I read this post and found it subtle and beautiful, just like the relationship itself. Also very powerful.
D.J. Paris says:
@lorryfrances Thanks for the compliment. I actually rode the elevator with her the other day. She pushed the button for me. Ha.
storksimply says:
@tfpHumorBlog @lorryfrances so…she pushes your buttons? hmn.
D.J. Paris says:
@storksimply I’m assuming you mean this sexually. Yes, we made passionate love in the elevator. Don’t tell my girlfriend.
D.J. Paris says:
I probably would have just sat there and watched Denise spontaneously combust and pretended I didn’t see her, or asked her to leave until the therapist called me in because she was making me uncomfortable. I don’t do human interaction unless someone hectors me into it, and then only to make them go away—kind of like my version of playing dead.
Maris says:
Aw. I wish I had people in the waiting room of my therapist’s office now (I’m an evening client and usually the last).
Reading your blog makes me glad you randomly followed me on Twitter to promote it 😛