Let’s Make Fun of Canada!

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Going to keep this one short, because I need YOUR help.

I pitched an idea to a Canadian publication completely joking around about how I’d like to write a piece for their readers (online they get about 20k a day) called “Why Americans Make Fun of Canadians.”

I fully expected an “F-you!” back from them, as they are not a humor publication.  In fact, they focus on fashion.

Instead, the publisher loved it.  We’re on.

The two camps are working out the details right now, and I’ll keep their name under wraps until her team gives me the green light (or whatever stripey color they must certainly use in their stoplights).

In return, they are going to do an opposing piece, “Why Canadians Make Fun of Americans.”


Many of you are pretty funny.  Not funny like me.  But decent.

What should I include in my list of things to spank the collective fannies of our sisters to the north?  (to me they’re all sisters)

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14 thoughts on “Let’s Make Fun of Canada!”

  1. yaya_v says:

    Coming from a Canadian, I’m going to guess that 90% of the things that get posted after this comment are also reasons why we can make fun of Americans for not knowing anything about Canada 😛 But because I’m generous and helpful and love your blog, here’s something: we apologize for EVERYTHING. Ex. What’s that? You bumped in to me (hard) because you were texting and walking? I’m SO sorry, totally my fault.  

  2. OdileW says:

    They don’t know how to spell properly (writing “cheque” instead of “check,” for example). Or (and?) they aspire to be British (or French) despite having been liberated as colonists. Weirdos.

  3. Sonja Rois says:

    Mounties.  Sorry, but I cannot help but think of Dudly Doright and the Rocky & Bullwinkle Show every time I think of a mountie.  I think it’s the hats.

  4. Wingnut says:

    Bi-lingual signs in British Columbia are like leaving cookies out for Santa Claus.
    They sell Teddy Bears in their liquor stores.
    They are so self-conscious about having an identity distinct from the US, that they establish a website which presumes that Americans actually think about them regularly enough to make fun of their differences.
    That they appear to have a nationalized PR campaign to establish that one of their “faults” is that they are too polite.
    That Newfoundlanders (Newfies?) hope Quebec will secede so it will cut down on travel time to Toronto.
    Quebec – Too small to be its own country, too large to be a loony bin.

  5. The SOS Mom says:

    Being Canadian, I’ve heard A LOT of funny misconceptions about our country… pretty surprising seeing how close neighbours we are… anyhooowwwww…. here are a few:
    -we all live in igloos
    -meese are like dogs, you see them everywhere… almost like a house pet!  
    -you can ski in july
    -we all say eh and oboot

  6. punch_drunk_red says:

    …I work social services so where do I even start???
    But really, all you need to know is canadian television programming: hilarious house of frightenstein; hammy hamster; littlest hobo; reach for the top; the beachcombers.
    degrassi does NOT count.

    1. yaya_v says:

       @punch_drunk_red  Degrassi totally counts! So do Dragons’ Den (a.k.a. the original Shark Tank) and Breaker High (the birthplace of Ryan Gosling’s career)! Best 🙂  

    2. chickinabox says:

      @punch_drunk_red Have you seen the PSA for “Dontcha Put It In Your Mouth”? That is by far the scariest one…. Blue monsters playing the use and singing…

  7. wilyguy says:

    Umm, Montreal was oh so clever as to name their hockey team the “Canadiens” and then in an attempt to throw off The US, nicknamed them the “Habs”????

  8. BitingLife says:

    I live in the U.S.  My high school mascot was the Mountie.
    … I WISH I was joking.

  9. Kathk says:

    As a Canuck, misconceptions to set straight are:
    – we do not all say ‘eh’ (we actually do it to amuse the Americans)
    – if we’re Canadian and from Toronto, we most likely do not know this guy Dave you met once who lives in Vancouver
    – we say say ‘about,’ not ‘aboot'”
    – we do not all live in igloos, although there is most likely a subsection who may in the tundra north. Although, many of us have made and slept in a quinzhee, because it’s cool
    – we can proudly see out nations flag to our backpacks
    – a chesterfield is a couch
    – a toque is a hat
    – It is the first nation of hockey
    – it is pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’
    – signs are bilingual throughout Canada to reflect we have two national languages
    – the beaver is a proud and noble animal
    – second largest landmass in the world
    – we are, for the most part excessively nice. You step on my foot, I will most likely apologize
    – we do not have pet polar bears and/or moose. These are dangerous creatures. We tend to avoid letting them into our living space
    – we do not eat poutine, maple syrup, and bacon for every meal. Just special occasions
    – tea = hot tea. Iced tea is not hot tea cold. Iced tea is a pop
    – Tim Horton was a hockey player, even playing for the Buffalo Sabres before his untimely death. Luckily, he opened a coffee shop prior to that, giving to us the most amazing coffee ever (aka Timmies). Where you can order a coffee regular (1 cream, 1 sugar), double-double (2 cream, 2 sugar), triple-triple (you get the idea), milk, or black (and the black automatically comes double cupped). There aren’t coffee sleeves at Tim’s
    – Sorry, but I do think it is cold outside. -40 C = -40 F. I still walked to school.
    – we do not laugh or giggle when told he got it in the 5-hole or he spent sometime in the box. That just means it was a good hokey game
    – we do get jealous in that we do not get to watch the same commercials as the Americans during the Super Bowl. Thank goodness for YouTube and the Internet
    – where i grew up, we used the Beer Store (yes that’s its real name) and the LCBO (the liquor store) as landmarks when giving directions
    – we use the metric system ad SI units as that is pretty well what is used in the rest of the world
    – we don’t all ski, own snowmobiles or dog sleds. I don’t ski; I après-ski
    – we spell words correctly

    Those are some of the misconceptions about Canadians off the top of my head. These come up regularly for me, especially now that I reside in SoCal. Why did I leave that great nation to the north? I don’t like the cold.

    1. D.J. Paris says:

      Wow – somehow I completely missed this when it went live! Great reply. Now I know all about Canada! And yes, you lot are wacky as f.

  10. Kathleen says:

    @wilyguy The Canadiens are called the Habs (short form for les habitants) as a that was the ‘nickname’ used for the original French settlers of lower Canada. So while the team was established at the start of the 1900’s, Habs has always been an informal nickname for a French Canadian.

    Yes, we are our own special breed. It is part of our charm

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