Know Anybody Famous?

flock of seagulls
If you know anyone in the band other than the lead singer of A Flock Of Seagulls, don't bother telling me.

A few days ago I blogged about my magazine writing debut in uG Magazine (Urban Gentleman).

Apparently the articles were well-received as I’ve been assigned a new feature for the next issue.

They want me to interview and spotlight somebody well-known who is either a television personality, actor, or musician.  We already have some connections and access to a few big names.

BUT…

I hate going the easy route.  See, I know nobody famous.  I once danced with Playmate Victoria Silvstedt and her cans popped out of her dress.  I was in a television commercial drunk on whiskey with Wayne Gretsky where I reffed him playing Bubble Hockey.  I, high on beer, told Ray Romano that I didn’t want his autograph on a golf course after he graciously offered it.

This is pretty much the extent of my dealings with famous people.

Just like everybody has a friend who knows a guy who went to school with a kid named Buster Hymen, I suspect you’re connected to someone famous.  Maybe your milkman is the step-brother of Cousin Balky from Perfect Strangers.  Your dental hygenist is distant cousins with Tiny Tim.  The priest you confess your sins to drinks bourbon with Susan Lucci.

I know you know someone.  Or someone who knows someone.

Tell me who you know.  Drop a name.  I’ll pick it off the floor, dust it off, and just might call.

And, if by perchance you don’t know anyone famous, talk about the time you farted in the elevator because you thought you were alone and a guy who looked just like Harrison Ford came in on the next floor, and you nearly died of embarrassment.

flock of seagulls
If you know anyone in the band other than the lead singer of A Flock Of Seagulls, don't bother telling me.

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