A few days ago I blogged about my magazine writing debut in uG Magazine (Urban Gentleman).
Apparently the articles were well-received as I’ve been assigned a new feature for the next issue.
They want me to interview and spotlight somebody well-known who is either a television personality, actor, or musician. We already have some connections and access to a few big names.
BUT…
I hate going the easy route. See, I know nobody famous. I once danced with Playmate Victoria Silvstedt and her cans popped out of her dress. I was in a television commercial drunk on whiskey with Wayne Gretsky where I reffed him playing Bubble Hockey. I, high on beer, told Ray Romano that I didn’t want his autograph on a golf course after he graciously offered it.
This is pretty much the extent of my dealings with famous people.
Just like everybody has a friend who knows a guy who went to school with a kid named Buster Hymen, I suspect you’re connected to someone famous. Maybe your milkman is the step-brother of Cousin Balky from Perfect Strangers. Your dental hygenist is distant cousins with Tiny Tim. The priest you confess your sins to drinks bourbon with Susan Lucci.
I know you know someone. Or someone who knows someone.
Tell me who you know. Drop a name. I’ll pick it off the floor, dust it off, and just might call.
And, if by perchance you don’t know anyone famous, talk about the time you farted in the elevator because you thought you were alone and a guy who looked just like Harrison Ford came in on the next floor, and you nearly died of embarrassment.
CSV says:
Wish I could help. I, uh, hung out with the Bowflex guy in college, but that’s about it. Well, wait, I had a roommate that played for the Yankees. Chris Britton. Cool guy. Don’t know how to get a hold of him though.
D.J. Paris says:
You go down to the ballpark and hurl a Miller Lite at him from the bleachers. Then, tell him you ate his ramen noodles when I he was his intro communications class.
5 Things About says:
Sorry, nobody famous to shake out of my family tree. Please promise thought that you will warn us if you somehow manage to interview Justin Beiber – I will try to avoid reading that one.
D.J. Paris says:
The man (yes, not boy) is a genius and I’ll not have you speak ill of him. Repent!
Katjaneway says:
I don’t know anybody personally, but Alton Brown might be willing. I’d read that interview and print it out and save it and hug it and put it under my pillow at night. Because you’re a funny guy, and he’s a funny guy, and dammit that interview would rock. He may be willing to drop a few hints about the upcoming season of Food Network Star, or talk about the new show he’s planning on doing. Ask him how that podcast idea is panning out, or how he freaking broke his “hand” on Saturday lol. He might respond via twitter; he’s fairly active on there when he’s not in the middle of taping a show. How I would love you forever and ever if you managed to get an interview from Mr. Good Eats!! <3
D.J. Paris says:
@Katjaneway I ONLY cook turkey according to Alton Brown. I literally just made a 15 lb’er the other month for friends and used his brining and no-basting recipe. And, of course, no gravy allowed. He’s awesome. Might be a good one. Thanks!
Katjaneway says:
@delfinparis I’ve met him four times, and he does follow TheBloggess so there’s all kinds of win there lol I’ve only recently begun to branch out from his recipes since I only first learned to cook a couple years ago. Good Eats rocks.
Lori72582 says:
I once knocked Danny Bonaduce off of a unicycle with a pool noodle and fortunately that was the whole of the interaction. I used to work for the Detroit Tigers and met all sorts of celebs and sports stars that way but no numbers made their way into my phonebook. Ken Block is my cousin, he’s a famous rally car driver but I don’t think he’s famous enough for your purposes. Here’s hoping you find someone fantastic!
D.J. Paris says:
@Lori72582 You knocked the Duce off a unicycle? I hope his pack of Marlboro Reds came shooting out of his rolled up Affliction tee. Either way, well done!
maryfran says:
I got nothing. Sorry! Good luck!
D.J. Paris says:
@maryfran Thanks for having nothing, and writing in that you have nothing. Solid!
LuftigWarren says:
I used to date Kristen Bell back in high school. I just talked to her mom a couple weeks ago, actually.
I also know that guy Tony Lucca, who is the front-runner on The Voice this year. He used to be on The Mickey Mouse Club with Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, etc. I opened up for him at a small concert in Michigan last summer.
I know a bunch of Broadway stars…though anyone outside of the theater circle wouldn’t know who they are.
D.J. Paris says:
@LuftigWarren Kristen Bell is high school is still a win. I had a date once with a solid seven my junior year. That is all.
Stilts says:
Congrats on the uG gig! But aside from going to a Price is Right taping (did you know Bob Barker has a glass eye?), I’ve got little in the name-dropping area. Good luck!
D.J. Paris says:
All I know is that I spade my cat and dog because of that bozo.
Eleanorjane says:
Spayed? I was a little worried about animal abuse for a bit there…
apodd2012 says:
My cousin married Sean Astin’s brother in law. Sadly that was the one wedding I missed..so really no help here.
D.J. Paris says:
@apodd2012 This is six degrees from anyone famous. You are on the outer ring.
LuftigWarren says:
Oh, I also grew up with the editor-in-chief of Jezebel.com. She’s semi-famous but super hilarious.
school_gates says:
My mum went out with the guy who played darth vader when she was studying. Does that count? He recently turned up at the hospital where my sister works as a nurse and asked after mum… school_gates
D.J. Paris says:
school_gates The fact that you don’t even know his name should be answer enough. Ha.