About once a week I catch a glimpse of myself as I exit the shower stall. One whole wall of my bathroom is mirror. I do my very best to avoid looking at my naked bodice. I know you do, too.
I was thinking about the meaning of life the other day. Heady shit, no? Yes! One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Richard Sutphen, has taught that the secret of life is to let go of fear and express unconditional love. Robert Augstus Masters would most likely say that it’s the courage to explore your pain by jumping in the deep end. Both great.
But mine is much simpler – to be able to see myself naked without shame.
Now, I’m probably coming off like a dick as I’m not really overweight. But that’s not the point. Being born with a very forgiving metabolism is not the worst thing. But I’ve only had a decent physique once in my life and that was after exercising six days a week and counting calories over six months. I looked pretty good!
Thankfully I don’t have a thyroid condition or other genetic or physical illness that would hinder body sculpting.
And, I don’t need to be at 7% bodyfat with washboard abs. First, I’d have to start shaving my chest. I clean it up a little now with the electric razor, but it’s still a mess. For a blonde guy, I’m hairy. Second, I feel like I’d have to show my 6-8 pack to a few people. And that’s beyond uncool.
I have no need for big traps or huge calves. I just want to look in the mirror and not feel bad.
Truth be told, I actually don’t always feel bad when I see myself naked. I’m actually happy with how I look on most of my body. It’s seeing the beginning of a stomach that really bugs me. I’d like to avoid the big stomach thing as men get into their late 30s. That is what’s depressing.
So, how does one get comfortable with imperfection? Imperfection that is caused by not taking action (getting to gym, eating right, etc.)? I’m okay with imperfection if it’s just something I’m born with, like allergies. But when it’s imperfection at my own hand, that’s hard.
How can I learn to be OKAY in the middle of “not where I want to be?”
This is the secret to my life for now.
Oh, and if you’re one of those bozos who is currently happy with your naked body, I’m very happy for you and I hope an avalanche covers your village tonight.