Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the google-document-embedder domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wild-book-child domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the rocket domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Warning: file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(core/post-comments) is not within the allowed path(s): (/home/tfphumorblog/:/tmp/:/var/tmp/:/opt/alt/php74/usr/share/pear/:/dev/urandom:/usr/local/php74/lib/:/usr/local/php74/lib/:/usr/local/php81/lib/:/usr/local/php56/lib/:/usr/local/lib/php/) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/blocks.php on line 763
I Wrote This On My Phone, Damnit! • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories
Site icon Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories

I Wrote This On My Phone, Damnit!

I just realized that I nearly forgot to post today.   I’ve made it every day this year and would prefer not to kill the streak.   It’s the only streak I haven’t broken – just ask my Portuguese Rosetta Stone program and gym membership.   Oh, and I don’t clean the cat box every three days like I promised either.

I’m in the Chicago suburbs in my car on the phone writing this thing.   We’re playing a gig but we don’t go on for another two hours.

Oh, and I got here (a bar)   and realized I had forgotten to bring both my wallet and my cash.   I probably haven’t made that mistake in over five years.   So I had to play the “I’m with the band” card when I walked in and the bouncer asked for my ID.   I don’t drink, so it’s no big deal, but it is so weird to be without dough.

Before the show, since my car is covered in bird shit, I pulled into a Shell station to get this bastard washed.   I put my wheels on that auto-track thing, and walked to the pay station.   Then I realized I didn’t have my money.   I had to reverse out of the carwash line, and was embarrassed, scanning all of the patrons at the pumps to see if they noticed.   This is my craziness.

I borrowed six bucks from the lead singer which got me an O’Doul’s.   It’s something to do.

Well, I probably should exit the car and go inside to the show.   The first band is starting.   We go on third.

I have to figure out how to upload an image to end this post.   Wish me luck.

I figured it out.
Exit mobile version