No, not really.
But I got your attention, right? What a sneaky dick!
I was curious to see how many words I’ve written since I started this fakakta blog. Thankfully, as Apple puts it…
There’s a piece of electronic computing software that is available to download and install that will perform a series of applicative tasks on your behalf.
There IS an app for this!
So, here are my stats as they stand right this goddamn second.
I guess I not only wrote a novel, but am working on the sequel!
I’ve actually written even more than what’s shown. Impossible you say? Nay!
It’s not uncommon for me to write something that I’m presently focused on, spend thirty minutes, and then when I read it back realize it’s just going to make people feel uncomfortable. Once I attempted via video to explain how devastatingly sad I was – the video went on for seven minutes. It was so depressing during playback that I had to hide the cutlery. So, that got shelved.
But that’s not written. I have a lot of drafts that never get posted for a variety of reasons. Here’s a piece from a draft I pulled. I don’t remember what this is in reference to.
Hmm… after thinking about it, I had never once showered with other dudes in gym class. I get uncomfortable walking into my gym’s locker room and seeing guys in various stages of undress. I’m not particularly neat or fit. I do like showtunes, however.
So, tonight I’m patting myself on the back. Sure I’m a celebrated writer – we all know this. But now, I can hang with the likes of James Joyce, Mark Twain, and other author names I can’t think of right now.
I’m like them because I crank out the same number of words. Oh, now I remember – John Steinbeck! I love that guy. East of Eden may be the best thing ever written. Next to the story of my father’s naughties.