Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the google-document-embedder domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the wild-book-child domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Notice: Function _load_textdomain_just_in_time was called incorrectly. Translation loading for the rocket domain was triggered too early. This is usually an indicator for some code in the plugin or theme running too early. Translations should be loaded at the init action or later. Please see Debugging in WordPress for more information. (This message was added in version 6.7.0.) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/functions.php on line 6121

Warning: file_exists(): open_basedir restriction in effect. File(core/post-comments) is not within the allowed path(s): (/home/tfphumorblog/:/tmp/:/var/tmp/:/opt/alt/php74/usr/share/pear/:/dev/urandom:/usr/local/php74/lib/:/usr/local/php74/lib/:/usr/local/php81/lib/:/usr/local/php56/lib/:/usr/local/lib/php/) in /home/tfphumorblog/domains/thoughtsfromparis.com/public_html/wp-includes/blocks.php on line 763
I Nearly Punched My Cat Tonight • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories
Site icon Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories

I Nearly Punched My Cat Tonight

D.J. Paris

I’m not proud of this.  But thirty minutes ago, I nearly punched my cat.

I definitely have anger issues.  When something goes wrong in certain ways, I react with a fight-or-flight mentality.  I remember once during Hell Week at my fraternity, after only fifty minutes of sleep the first night, some members came into the place I was sleeping and banged on pots and pans.  I jumped up (they told me), and I took a fighting stance as if I was ready to attack.  I was asleep and didn’t remember.

The good news is that I never have been in a real fight.  I’m not afraid of being in a fight, but I don’t seem to attract those situations.  I’m a pretty nice guy, and I don’t seem to piss people off in that way.

My cat peed on my bed again today.  I only know because I was laying down in my bed on the phone, just like a 13 year old girl.

I swear to you, this was the exact position I was in.

I realized I was laying in cat urine.  Fresh.

Now, I’ve talked about this situation before, and how I started giving my cat Prozac, which is the ONLY thing that seems to work.  But after a while she stopped taking it, and it became nearly impossible to administer.

Anyway, I got so angry and grabbed her (all the while yelling choice explitives which echoed through my headset in my girlfriend’s eas) and took her into the kitchen to force a pill down her throat.

I was so incredibly livid that had she struggled or tried to scratch me, I would have smacked her.  I’m embarrassed to say this, but it’s true.  In that moment I hated my cat and wanted to hurt her.

After I settled down, I realized that part of this was about me seeing myself in the cat’s imperfection.  What I mean is that somehow this cat pee is indicative of me not being happier with my own position in life.  I can yell and scream at the cat, because she’s an easy target.  But I’m really screaming at myself.

I have parts of my life that I hate.  I’m sure we all do.  But when I get in those moods, no gratitude list can get me out of the funk.  I think I’m being totally logical and accurate in the way I judge myself.  The problem is this – I probably am totally accurate, but I’m also totally unfair.  I give myself no slack, and therefore, I give my cat no slack.

She probably has a weird medical condition or a UTI or whatever.  She’s a good cat.  She just isn’t perfect.  I need to remember that I am imperfect, too.

Exit mobile version