This time I’m not going to write about my cat peeing on all sorts of stuff that isn’t kitty litter.
I’m going to explain the wreckage of past and present. The destruction left in her wake. I know wake is a noun referencing past events but let’s imagine she’s still speeding along in a cigarette boat. That way the expression works a little better.
Specifically, I’m talking about the hardwood. She has decimated an area of my flooring. I am so embarrassed by this that I can’t even bear to snap a photo. You’d turn on me faster than a simile of something turning really fast on something else. It’s so bad that I’m going to have to get a floor guy out here to see if they can replace the affected area.
This is not a random spot in the condo – it’s right next to her litter box. She, quietly over time has peed just outside the box enough for me not to pay attention. It’s in a dark part of the house and, let’s face it, I’m not exactly Mary Poppins. I mean, I can sing and all, but ask me to sweep a chimney and I’m all thumbs.
I don’t know how it got this bad, but several years have gone by now since my ex-wife moved out. She sort of attended to that. Since I just live here I never notice the awful smell emanating from my otherwise nice condo. It’s bad. I know this because every time my parents come to stay they comment the moment they walk in. Well, I decided today on a bike ride that enough was enough.
The floor probably won’t get fixed until January but I’m not living in stank for the next month. Oh, as a quick update. Since my cat is back on the Prozac she’s been pretty good. If that doesn’t work I will hire one of the most respected cat behaviorists in the country to customize a plan. It’s $500 but, hey, new floorboards aren’t cheap either. I’m almost hoping she starts pissing everywhere just so I can see this vet in action. What fun!
I did some massive cleaning of the area today including washing the floor and vacuuming. I bent down to smell and it still stunk of death. I was afraid it had soaked into the floorboards. Then I remembered two things. My ex-wife and I stupidly put an old doormat under the litter box. Not a great call for a cat who misses the target. Also, even though we spared no expense on our pets, instead of buying a box with an attached back, we opted for the more stylish wicker cover.
I’m actually really good about doing a deep-cleaning of the litter pan every few months. I pull it out and scrub all the nonsense. But, for two years it never once occurred to me to pull the cover off and clean the wicker. Well, it finally did today. I pulled the thing off, took it out to the balcony and gave it a whiff. Bingo. I assumed over the years it had soaked up cat vapor.
Not so.
I turned it around to the back and found the cause of the stench. The cat had been spraying the back of the cover for God knows how long. I could see the evidence and there was lots of it. I immediately threw it away and went to PetSmart to buy her a new box that’s enclosed with a back wall. I also got a big rubber mat just in case she starts peeing outside the box.
Well, I just sprayed a vinegar-water solution on the busted flooring and then coated the area with baking powder. Next will come the hydrogen peroxide, and lastly the enzymatic cleaner.
Oh, by the way, whenever I sell this condo if any one of you jokers forwards this post to a prospective buyer I’m going to exact revenge in the cruelest way I know how – by continuing to write about my cat urine troubles.
shelleye says:
Hey 🙂 I’m a recent addition to your readership. I love your writing and find your blog compelling 🙂 I don’t think I’ve read all of your cat pee stories (yet!) so please forgive me if you or someone else has said this before, but cats are fastidious critters and hate to go to the toilet in smelly places. I’ve often thought (because this is what I spend my time doing) that your cat doesn’t use its litter tray because the litter is dirty. It will know it has to go there but really it will hate it, hence peeing off the edge etc. The problem might be solved by scooping out its business daily and replacing the litter (with a full clean of the tray) weekly. Perhaps you do this already! In which case please delete this 🙂
KateHall says:
shelleye I had a cat like DJ’s before it was consumed by a coyote and I scooped that litter box EVERY DAY. The cat was mental. We tried two boxes, we tried bigger boxes, a box within a box, a box with a lid on top that she had to crawl into, pheromone spray, bleaching the litter box, etc. I never tried the Prozac though. Wish I had known about it then. Maybe it would have worked. Maybe I wouldn’t have let her out to the wolves if she wasn’t so busy peeing on all my crap. That was kind of a joke – I let her out one night and she refused to come back in. I suppose I could have gone out and picked her up. How was I to know a coyote was going to get her…literally, the day before she was going to a new home. Crazy.
shelleye says:
@KateHall aw man how awful for you. The irony is I best you missed that cat when she was gone 🙁 And yes, thank you, there is clearly more to this cat pee business than meets the eye. There’s a joke in there somewhere but I can’t work it out 🙂 PS love your blog too 🙂
shelleye says:
*best = bet. Gark!
KateHall says:
shelleye Yeah, I did miss her, but it was bittersweet. I was at the point of just wanting to be done, so it was a blessing in disguise – a tragic one, but I chose to see the silver lining. Gosh, that sounds awful. And thanks for the compliment on my blog. And thanks DJ, for letting me comment here, so other people look at my blog. You rock!
RealHousewifeSL says:
Cats and Condos don’t seem to go together well. My mom had a cat in her condo and I noticed a bad smell over time and realized I hat to TELL my mom! She didn’t realize it I don’t think because she lived there…you know how that works? It’s harder to smell all kinds of stuff when your standing in the center of it. Turned out…I had to find a sweet way to tell dear mom the condo was smelling like a cat. I said, “it smells like shit in here mom, really it does.” Hahaha she didn’t realize it like I thought – so she was truly glad I leveled with her:)
sodamnexcited says:
I feel your pain. I once had a cat that choose a corner in my (carpeted) basement to rip up and piss on the floor. It was horrifyingly disgusting.
Cheryl says:
I am a new owner of cat, my son brought home after I said NO. He was to little to let out over winter. Someone gave him away to early. Nah! That wouldn’t happen. Spring has sprung finally, so OUT he goes! Before my home smells to the point of no return. He head butt my bedroom door until it opened enough to come in at three in the morning. Less than five minutes I could smell that smell. Bath or did Smokey pee? I lay there thinking. Thanks for the story and the help. Pet friendly