Site icon Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories

I Had My Handwriting Analyzed!

A few weeks ago I was replying to comments here on the blog and I noticed one of my readers did handwriting analysis professionally. Her name is Theresa and if you want to learn about yourself, I suggest you go visit her site and hire her. She’s great.

I asked her if she would do me the honors and she did! Below is the sample I submitted and the results.

Back when I was in my twenties I was so inept at meeting women that I wanted some sort of hook. I had read in a seduction book that women loved getting their handwriting analyzed. I bought a book on the subject and learned about twenty different traits in handwriting styles.

I used it like crazy. I’d go to parties and casually mention that I knew how to analyze handwriting. Women do love it. However, it’s like a magic trick. Fun to watch, but nobody goes home and bangs the magician. I used it as parlor entertainment, plain and simple.

I do believe however, that it does provide legitimate insight into the personality. She produced a full report. I’m only going to show a few excerpts with my own comments.

Click me to enlarge!

Sadly, I focus more on my deficiencies that strengths. Instead of seeing myself as being perfectly imperfect (that sounds like a terrible mug your coworker has in the adjacent cubicle) I tend to focus on what’s missing vs. what’s already there. In order for me to have gratitude of my strengths, I actually need to do this consciously. Does not come naturally.

Oooh… you’re soooooooooooooooooooo smart to figure that one out, genius! (bad joke, I know)

Also true. I just got off the phone with a potential date and she’s a stylist and I was sure to tell her I had a thick, blonde head of hair. It’s all I have, people!

Growing up I knew my father loved me but I was convinced he didn’t actually like me. He was present but quiet and didn’t know how to engage me. I have since learned that he is my biggest supporter. He calls me almost every day just to see how I’m doing. When I come home to spend the weekend, he’s in heaven. But still, during those formative years, yep, I thought he hated me.

Bingo. I am a very energetic person but I often self-soothe by eating too much. Just tonight on the subway home I was feeling a little down. I decided to escape with some fast food. Nothing wrong with that except I bought more than I should have and ended up passing out at 7pm for an hour. Talking with a friend later tonight I was laughing about this. She said, “Didn’t you just do the same thing with chicken wings last week?” I over-soothe to the point of pass-out. Since I don’t drink or use drugs, this is how I run away. I’m okay with it, mostly. We all run from time to time.

Between being in a band, working a full-time job, writing each night, doing a podcast, exercising daily, finishing  a book and now dating, I’m pretty busy. I always take on more projects as I’m assuming I’m not doing enough stuff. Maybe I’m not allocating my time or my priorities as well as I could, but my dance card is definitely filling up.

I could go on and on but the bottom line is that handwriting analysis is fun and insightful. Next up is palm reading. If you read palms, I want you to take a look and see what’s in store for me. Hopefully it involves a stint as a multi-millionaire.

Thanks again Theresa!

Exit mobile version