Yes. I’m talking about you.
(I address my bicycle as “you”.)
I know. That was dumb. And made you feel uncomfortable for a moment. Especially if you’re a dude. Well, I guess maybe not all dudes would have felt uncomfortable. Certain ones.
But, this is a post about riding a bike. And, goddammit, there’s just no way you’re going to read a post titled, “I’m Going on a Bike Ride!”
I am going on a bike ride! To work.
I will be doing this every day (except when it rains) until it gets too cold in late fall. I have the dog in a backpack, and this commuter garment thing I just installed so I can bring my suit.
The total distance is around twenty miles round-trip. Since I’m in Chicago and near the lake, it’s a beautiful ride. Also windy. I go right along Lake Michigan with all the other weirdos that ride to work. I’ve been doing this for the past three years. Before then I hadn’t ridden a bike since I was fourteen.
Now, please realize I have hardly moved since I put the bike away last year. I live in a fourth floor walkup. I get winded (no jive) making it up the stairs with groceries.
To go from nothing to twenty miles a day is intense. I’m a sweaty mess when I get to work. Well, surely there must be a shower there, yes? Nope.
I have to towel off, wash up in the sink and then put on a suit. Not the most fun thing to do all drenched in sweat. But hey, I’m a professional.
I’m excited, because I’ll burn a few calories and get a few endorphins flowing. Better than the tiny Mr. Goodbars floating around in my system right now. Seriously, who ever eats tiny Mr. Goodbars? Other than me when they’re on sale?
Was going to end with a strong joke about doody, but then a wave of fear hit me. I realized that even though I’m all protected with a helmet on the bike, my dog is not. I’ve ridden with her before and never had an issue. In fact I’ve never fallen myself. But if you ride a bike like me, logging thousands of miles, you will fall one day. And the idea of crushing my dog is a devastating thought. So, now I’m nearly paralyzed with fear, to tell the truth. I think it’s a healthy fear, though. Still, ugh.
Would have been easier to do the doody joke. But, now I’m just scared. Oh well. I’m off to eat some more tiny Mr. Goodbars to kill that feeling. Feelings suck!
