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Girlfriends and Wives, Pay Attention! • Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories
Site icon Thoughts From Paris · Humor Blog of D.J. Paris · Funny Stories

Girlfriends and Wives, Pay Attention!

My girlfriend Jessica flew up from Atlanta this past weekend.  She was here  two weeks ago, and I was excited that she was back so soon.

Now, many women are fun to be around.  Others are cool.  Some can make you laugh.  I’ve dated many that were smarter than me, which I  found satisfying.

Every girlfriend is different and each has their great qualities and their quirks.  My friend Karen is fond of saying, “All chicks are nuts, it’s just a question of  how nuts?”  She should know.  She’s batshit crazy.

I spoke about on how our second date, my now ex-wife quietly paid the bill for dinner when I got up to use the restroom.  That’s an amazing move.

Jessica, herself, did a great move on Saturday morning.

I got out of the shower and I found her in the kitchen looking in cabinets and drawers.

I hope you don’t mind – I was just taking a look around.  You have a lot of stuff in here that you don’t use, I suspect.

She was right.  I had at least 30 bottles of cooking oils, jams, dips, and assorted shit that I would never consume.  I had at least two of every major spice, and a ton of old glasses and tupperware.  We found a crockpot with no lid.

Please don’t think I’m trying to change you or start making decisions about your place.  If you don’t want me to help clear some of this out, it’s totally cool.  I don’t want to be the pushy girl who starts telling you what’s what.

I laughed because I hadn’t cleaned out the kitchen in at least three years.  If she wanted to reorganize the place, I was not about to stand in her way.  We found six bottles of barbeque sauce.  I never use barbeque sauce.

But just the idea of someone wanting to help me clear out and clean up my place was touching.  I mean, she could have just sat on the couch and watched reruns of M.A.S.H (as 32 year old women do).  Instead she was thinking of me and how she could help.

Then, after it was all done, hours later, she said:

I’m buying you a new crockpot!

I’ve used a crockpot a total of twice in my life, and both times were to cook boiled peanuts.  But her taking such an interest in my kitchen was greatly appreciated.

Wives and girlfriends – think of something your man would like to do, but never has done.  Do it for him or with him.  He’ll appreciate it.

Unless it’s building a bird feeder to hang on the back porch.  We all know women can’t build things.

I guess Target is okay - I still don't really get it, though.
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