I just blocked someone on social media.
This person owed me money. Quite a bit of money. Since I assume nobody is out to screw me over, I gave them a wide berth in paying it back. After months of hearing nothing, I reached out just to get an update. Their response when I politely asked on the status of the repayment was, “I agreed to that in a moment of vulnerability. I shouldn’t have. You’ll get it when I have it – no idea when that will be.” I stared at the computer screen in shock. This was a financial arrangement we had both decided was fair. The funny part was that I had never asked this person for repayment in the first place. They came to me knowing they owed me money and worked out a structure. Then, didn’t honor it. Before I could respond with a, “This has to be a joke, right?” she wrote, “Oh, and have fun on all those vacations you’re going on – you obviously don’t need the money.”
So, now I was in a predicament. It was obvious to me that this person didn’t want to pay me back, and was illogically angry with me. Also, they must be reading my social media posts and noticing that I do, on occasion, go on a trip. Then using that information as a weapon. I tried one last attempt and suggested they could work out an alternative payment structure and that I was open to suggestions. They told me to screw right off. People are great, right?
I wish I was exaggerating, but I’m not. And if this was only over $300 I would have just let it go. But this was a much larger sum. I felt uncomfortable that this person was analyzing my social posts and using it against me in the future to justify not honoring our deal. I cared about the money that was owed, but was it worth it? I had never blocked anyone on social media. But if I blocked her, would she see this as an act of aggression? I was worried that if she couldn’t see my posts, she’d know I blocked her and use that as a reason not to pay.
After thinking about it, I realized this person wasn’t likely to pay me back, anyway. Even though I had known her for years and had never seen her screw someone over like this, I had to accept reality on reality’s terms. I was going to get ripped off. I made my peace with it and called the person and told them I was forgiving the debt. They texted me back with, “Wow. Thanks!” Then, I blocked them on all forms of social media. I no longer cared if they saw the block as aggressive. I would never have to speak to this person again for the rest of my life. And, in a surprising turn, I felt good about myself. I had exercised kindness. I had also protected myself against their craziness.
If I had listened to my friends, I would have made this decision much sooner. Everyone could see that this person was not the nice person I believed her to be. They had all told me to eat the loss and block all communication. They were right.
So, that’s where you come in.
Are you struggling with a social media problem? Are some people you knew in high school friends posting bizarre extreme religious stuff on Facebook? What should you do when your creepy boss tried to friend you? Curious what to do with those nudes you sent on Snapchat? Worried that the “runway model” you met on Instagram might be a dude living in his mother’s basement? Allison Arnone and I can help you navigate such waters.
We’re both pretty sharp knives, so our advice is sound. You won’t follow it, but you’ll enjoy reading our words. It will bring you a joy not unlike what yogis experience as they achieve nirvana.
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